50 Ways To Kill Your Boss

4. Drowned in folding chairs

"The cause of the fire was determined to be a combination of oxygen, fuel, and heat." Baxter had gathered everyone in the conference room, and was using a pointer stick to show off his chart of a classic fire triangle he probably got from google images.

"Oh wooowww." Brock said, but he was watching March Madness.

""We need to make sure that this doesn't happen again." Baxter said. "So I've devised a plan to remove all the oxygen from the hotel." He removed the first chart to reveal his plan on a new colorful posterboard.

Everyone stared in uncomfortable silence.

"I see I've blown your minds."

"There are so many reasons that's bad." Jay said.

"Okay, Plan B." Baxter removed that poster to reveal a pop-up ad for birth control. He x-ed out of that to reveal the Plan C poster. "We remove all the fuel."

"Can't do that"

"Plan D: Remove all the heat."

"Physically impossible"

"Do we know what caused the fire?" Claire asked.

"I already said the fire triangle--"

"Actually, it's a tetrahedron." Jay stood now on the other side of the room, with his own chart and pointer.

"The fire came from one of the guests." Monaco said, standing up to take over.

"Let's hold a trial." Baxter said.

"Let's definitely not do that. The fire is not why I called this meeting, Baxter." Monaco addresses everyone, "The cause of the fire is now a moot point in the story, and has lost the reader's interest at least 5 mentions ago. The real reason we're all here is to announce the promotion of one of our employees."

"Yesss." Kyle said. "It's gonna be me."

"Calm down there, NSYNC. She didn't say who it was yet." Claire said.

"It's certainly not Ed Lover." Brock said, folding his hands behind his head casually.

Everyone stared in confusion.

"...Because he doesn't work here."

Baxter gave Brock a red card for that.

"Hey, guys. I just got the memo about the meeting--" Wilson Perry emerged unwanted and out of nowhere like a Bon Jovi song.

Everyone stood up and threw their folding chairs at him in unison. Perry fell back into a closet and Marley shut the door, trapping Perry with the chairs.

"Kyle, congratulations, you are promoted to Events Coordinator." Monaco said.

Drowned in folding chairs

"Wait, that's it?" Jay said. "The climax came and fell in like, 2 sentences!"

Baxter gave him a red card for talking after the chapter had ended.