A Sense of Guilt ✔

Chapter 2

Joe

Joe's mother looked up expectantly from her desk as he entered the drawing-room. She had papers and magazines scattered around her and he knew without asking that they were all wedding related. He had to admit that Kat had a point, his mom was giving the impression that it was very much her day.

He passed the guest list to her and she took it from him eagerly. 'So what do you think? Can I start getting the invites sent out, there's not much time left?'

Joe nearly pointed out that the wedding was over six months away but that wasn't the conversation he wanted to have with her. 'Yeah you can go ahead, Kat's happy with it.' Sort of happy with it. 'The thing is mom, do you think it's wise to invite the Slaters?'

'Why ever would we not?' She gawped at him not comprehending. 'They're some of my oldest friends and you kids grew up together like cousins.'

'Well me and Shannon Slater used to date,' Joe reminded her and she laughed indulgently.

'Oh Joseph, you were what, seventeen? I'd hardly call that a relationship. I actually think it's a real shame how you and Shannon lost touch when you were so close growing up.'

He sighed thinking his mom looked back on their childhood through rose-tinted glasses. She had no doubt imagined that they'd all stay in each other's lives, the friendship continuing on with the next generation. 'Look I've had nothing to do with Shannon for years. We're not close so I think it would be weird to invite her to my wedding.'

'Is this Katherine talking?' his mom asked her lips pursed.

'No, as far as Kat's concerned I want Shannon there and she's fine about it.' Almost too fine about it.

'Well, Katherine's being sensible then. A wedding is a time to celebrate with friends and family, and to put aside old animosities,' she said brooking no argument.

'There isn't any animosity but I feel odd about inviting her.' His mother was obviously determined not to see his point of view.

She sighed putting the guest list down. 'How will it look if we invite all the Slaters and exclude Shannon? Are you sure this isn't sour grapes talking?'

'When you put it like that I guess I have to invite her,' he said still uncertain. He prayed Shannon would decline the invitation. It hadn't been a bad break-up, she'd been on the other side of the country so the opportunity for screaming rows was limited, but it had hurt like hell. Looking back he was far too young to settle down at eighteen, the angst he'd felt was more because it was the first time that he'd experienced those emotions more than anything else. He'd been a kid back then, he reminded himself. His relationship with Shannon in no way compared to the love he felt for Katherine.

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'Getting cold feet yet?' Joe's friend Donnie asked when they met for their usual drinks on Friday evening.

'Cold everything,' Joe joked back. He wasn't nervous about getting married but the day itself was snowballing into something else.

'Well it's not too late to back out,' Donnie said taking a sip of his drink. 'I'm just saying, you'll take your vows deadly seriously so if you have any doubts....'

Joe shook his head. He kind of knew what Donnie was saying, his sense of loyalty and faith would stop him calling time on a miserable marriage. Both of them had been brought up practising Catholics but Donnie had long ago lapsed, Joe still took it seriously.

'I don't want to back out, I love Kat,' he said. He'd always looked up to Donnie as a sort of big brother figure and trusted that he had his best interests at heart. It bothered him that Donnie seemed so negative about his relationship. 'Why don't you like her?'

A frown flitted across Donnie's face. 'It's not that I don't like her, I can see she's a great girl. I just wonder if she's right for you? If you're not rushing into something cos that's what your parents expect?'

Joe felt a flash of irritation. Donnie knew as well as anyone that his parents weren't happy with him and Kat living together, it wasn't something he needed reminding about. 'My parents' expectations don't come into it. I know they want me married with two point four children but that's what I want too. I'm not doing this to make them happy.' He wasn't even sure that his mom was that happy, she didn't quite gel with Katherine.

'Are you sure about that?' Donnie asked and Joe did not miss the scepticism in his voice. 'You guys are getting middle-aged before your time.' He laughed as if he didn't mean it but Joe knew he thought their relationship was dull. And admittedly sometimes it was but that was hardly surprising now they were living together, and their preference was to stay home with a bottle of wine rather than go on date nights.

'Look we're happy,' Joe said trying to keep his voice light. 'If you'd ever had a relationship go the distance you'd know the excitement fades after a while.'

'Touche,' Donnie chucked.

Joe smiled but he didn't particularly want to dissect Donnie's relationship history either. 'Anyway, there's a bigger problem on the horizon,' he said, his hand reaching up to try and tame his wavy hair.

Donnie raised an eyebrow. 'Oh?'

'Mom's going to invite Shannon Slater to the wedding.'

'Right,' Donnie said slowly before taking a sip of his drink. 'You dated years ago so what's the big deal?'

Joe crossed his eyebrows. 'Well that's the thing, Kat knows we dated but she doesn't know we grew up together. I don't think she realises how close we all are or were.' He thought he'd been open with Katherine, that he'd told her all the important stuff. However, the way she was happily dismissing Shannon as nothing more than a high school sweetheart made him think he'd missed out on some significant details.

'Joe that's gotta be the biggest none problem ever!' Donnie laughed. 'Now if you said Kat knew you'd grown up together but not that you dated I could see it might be an issue but not this.'

'I guess,' he said fiddling with his hair again. 'I just don't want Kat to think I've been deceitful. I don't know why I didn't tell her, I suppose it didn't seem all that important.'

'Well, there's your answer. But Joe it sounds like you're looking for problems where there aren't any. And if I know Shannon she won't go anyway, well not unless she's got a husband of her own on her arm.'

Joe nodded thinking that when Donnie put it like that the chances of Shannon attending the wedding had to be slim. 'I wouldn't want Shannon to think I was rubbing her nose in it though.'

Donnie groaned. 'Seriously Joe you're worrying about nothing, now drink up, you're supposed to be celebrating.' Joe did as he was told trying to put aside the unease he was feeling. Shannon wouldn't go to the wedding, he was making mountains out of molehills.

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