A Sense of Guilt ✔

Chapter 1

Katherine

Katherine slammed down her coffee cup some of the liquid spilling onto her fingers. Irritably she wiped it off almost wishing she'd upended the entire contents onto the paper she was holding in her other hand.

'Joe, do you even know half the people on this list?' she demanded as she looked through the suggested guest list his mother had kindly composed for their wedding. Joe turned his attention from the TV and she did not miss his weary sigh. Ironically they'd had more disagreements since they'd got engaged than they'd had in the whole time they'd been together.

Joe took the list from her and gave it a cursory glance. 'I know some of them I guess.'

'You guess?'

Joe paused the TV and looked at her with furrowed brows. 'Why do you care if I know them or not, you won't know most of them regardless,' he said his impatience clear.

Katherine sat back for a moment contemplating her response. Joe had got her there. She'd lived in Boston for the past three years having grown up in California and her social circle wasn't that wide. She'd moved to New York when she'd been accepted at the Julliard but performing arts wasn't her forte, she could do it but she didn't enjoy it. It had been her mom's passion but it wasn't hers. She'd graduated and got a job in a community library in Boston, initially doing summer workshops with the local kids.

And that was how she had met Joe Cooper. He was in his final year of college and looking for a book he couldn't find in the college library. She'd found him the book and they'd got talking, he'd come back and they'd talked some more. Nearly three years later they were engaged to be married and what should have been a happy time was causing considerable tension in their relationship.

'I'm not comfortable with a load of random hangers-on sharing our day,' Katherine finally said although she wasn't quite sure that was correct. She wasn't comfortable with Joe's mom taking over what was supposed to be her day. 'You know my mom hasn't asked that I invite anyone, she's trusting me to invite the people who are important to us.'

'Maybe that's cos your mom doesn't much care,' Joe said and Katherine bristled. Her family were certainly more laid back than Joe's but that didn't mean they didn't care. If anything Joe's family were too controlling. His mom especially had very firm ideas about what the wedding should look like, and with Katherine's mom on the other side of the country she had taken over the reins.

'You're being unfair,' Katherine said not hiding her annoyance. 'My mom is taking a hands-off approach cos she knows it's my day, she's had hers.' And it wouldn't hurt your mom to remember that as well, she thought sourly.

'Your mom's had more than one wedding hasn't she?' Joe said with a wink and Katherine scowled. That was true, her mom had had a brief marriage as a teenager but since she'd met Katherine's father there had been no one else.

'I wish you wouldn't criticise my family, especially when yours is off-limits. My mom's been pretty amazing actually,' Katherine said trying to keep the hurt out of her voice. Her mom was often the butt of jokes amongst Joe's friends because she'd starred in some of the biggest flop movies of the eighties. She'd had huge critical acclaim in her first role but after one too many box office disasters the offers had dried up.

'I'm not criticising your family but they are pretty unconventional and that makes you think my mom's reasonable requests are out of line,' Joe said unpausing the TV and signally an end to the conversation.

'I guess,' Katherine said. She didn't want to fight with him when the wedding day itself wasn't that was important to her, it was the marriage that mattered.

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Katherine walked into the bedroom she shared with Joe and saw him sat on the side of the bed, his mother's suggested guest list in his hand.

'You're looking over that now?' she asked a little exasperated when she'd tried to discuss it earlier.

'Yeah I'm a little surprised at some of her suggestions,' he admitted with a small frown.

'Oh?' she asked as she pulled a brush through her long dark hair, her mother had drilled into her the importance of brushing it every night.

'Well she's got Shannon and her family on here, I mean I know we go way back with the Slaters...'

'Shannon?' she asked trying to keep her voice neutral while her chest constricted.

'Yeah, that seems a bit weird to me. We were over years ago and we're not in touch, if she was getting married I wouldn't expect to be invited. I just think it's putting her on the spot. I doubt she'd want to go but she wouldn't want to offend either,' he explained still frowning.

'You've given it a lot of thought,' she said feeling unnerved.

'Only cos it's our wedding.'

'You see this is why I didn't want any of our parents getting their hands on the guestlist,' Katherine said testily. By 'our' she meant 'your'.

'I know but I have to look at the bigger picture, my folks are friends with the Slaters.'

'Would Shannon be likely to come?' Katherine asked trying not to sound jealous. Not that she had anything to be jealous of, Joe was with her, Shannon was some old high school sweetheart.

Joe shrugged. 'I honestly don't know, I guess her folks might tell her to. I've hardly seen her since she dumped me and went to college in California.'

'That's kinda ironic, your girlfriend goes to California, and then you end up with a girl from California.'

'There were a few girls in between,' Joe said sounding offended.

'Yeah I know, but wasn't Shannon your first big love?' she asked keeping her tone light.

His eyes narrowed and he glanced at the list again. 'If you can call it that, I was only young.'

'I know but first loves and all that...' she said trying to draw him out.

'I honestly don't remember, it's over five years ago,' he said and she scoffed.

'Sure you do. It's okay, I know you had a past before you met me and I don't expect you to hide it.'

'So if I invited her to the wedding?' he asked tentatively looking up from the list.

Katherine swallowed hard. 'It's not a problem. She's probably fat, married and has three kids now anyway.' She smiled trying to make a joke out of it.

'She's not married, I know that much. She got a job for an airline.'

Katherine shook her head. 'Joe you're missing my point, your life has moved on and I'm sure hers has as well. If you need to invite her to be polite then go ahead.'

'Okay,' Joe said agreeing too quickly for Katherine's liking. She told herself not to be unduly worried. She'd seen old photos of Shannon and there was nothing particularly remarkable about her. She recalled a pale, skinny girl with light brown hair and blue eyes. Joe had probably only dated her because their moms' were friends. She might have been his first love but it was a long time ago.

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Thank you for reading. The first few chapters are fairly short as they introduce the three main characters and then the story gets going.