A Sense of Guilt ✔

Chapter 54

'Are you sure you want to do this?' Danielle asked Katherine as their cab pulled up outside the club where Donnie's birthday celebrations were taking place.

Katherine took a deep breath, steadying her nerves. 'Absolutely, it's like you said, I should show Joe what he's missing.' She smiled with a confidence she didn't feel.

'You're the boss,' Danielle replied stepping out of the cab and quickly scooting into the doorway of the club to avoid the rain.

I'm the boss, Katherine told herself as she paid their driver and stepped out of the cab. She momentarily stood in the rain and tried to compose herself, oblivious to the damage the rain was probably doing to her makeup.

'Kat!' Danielle pulled her forward. 'For god's sake, you don't want to go in there looking like a drowned rat. You want Joe to see you and realise he's downgraded.'

'I guess,' she said but she wasn't really here for Joe, she'd come to celebrate Donnie's birthday. She took another deep breath reminding herself that Joe was the past, she was looking to the future. 'I'm not in competition with Shannon,' she said lightly. 'She might not even be here, but if she is that's fine. She's with Joe, I'm not.'

Danielle rolled her eyes and Katherine's hackles went up. 'I mean it, Dani, this isn't high school. Joe and I are over, I've accepted it.' She smoothed down her dress and regained her composure. 'Obviously, I want to look my best but that's more to show Joe I've moved on, I don't want him to think I'm weeping into my pillow every night.'

'Okay, okay,' Danielle said holding her hands up. 'I'm on your side.'

Katherine nodded but she didn't want to think of it as sides any more, there was no competition, not now. The thought suddenly hit her hard; there had never been a competition, it was game over the moment Shannon came back into Joe's life. She paused, waiting for a wave of hurt to wash over her but thankfully it was fleeting. Part of her still wished she could sit down with Joe and talk it all through, the sensible part knew it would be futile to try to.

Danielle pushed open the door of the club and Katherine was instantly assaulted by the noise and flashing lights, reminding her that this was exactly the sort of night out she hated. She stood up taller, telling herself to put her old acting lessons to good use for once. She plastered a smile on her face and purposely strode forward, towards the bar, avoiding eye-contact with anyone.

She allowed herself a small sigh of relief as she sat down and Danielle caught the barman's attention. She let Dani order for her, not caring about the drink, as she began to look furtively around the room. At first, she didn't see Joe as she avoided looking too closely at anyone, but after a second scan of the room, she spotted him with Kelly and Jason. They were sat around a table, Jason's arm swung around Kelly's shoulder while she was gesticulating to them both. Kat quickly looked away, picking up her drink and swigging it, ignoring the burning sensation at the back of her throat.

'Easy,' Danielle said as her eyes followed Katherine's. 'Please don't spend all night looking at him.'

'I don't intend to,' Katherine said thinking Joe hadn't even noticed her. Her eyes flitted around the room again trying to pick out Shannon but after honing in on the fourth blonde head she gave up. 'Look let's just have a couple of drinks and then go. I can't even see Donnie in this crowd.'

'I'm sure he'll find you,' Danielle said in a knowing voice. 'He was pretty keen to get you here.'

'He was being polite,' Katherine said not quite daring to believe that Donnie, or anyone really, would actually like her. At times she still felt broken and that was hardly an attractive proposition for anyone.