But...(Sequel to If Only) ✔

Chapter 17.

It's been a month since Coby and I broke up I guess. I don't actually know since we haven't talk, he sorta just ran before I could explain. You may be thinking that I have been getting through this by eating ice cream and watching sappy movie, but you're wrong. I get through it with my new best friend, whiskey.

That's why I am currently seated at the corner of the bar with my nth glass of whiskey. This is my regular spot, my regular drink, my regular night.  I watch as the underage teens get drunk off their ass, the two drunk people sneaking out together for a one night stand, and etc. I watch them all. We're all here for one thing: release. We need to loosen up from problems and from the struggles of life. We need to forget about everything and party our night away. We need release, and we need it badly.

Picking up my cup, I tip it over my mouth to realize it's empty. I raised my hand and called the bartender.

"Can I have ten vodka shots over!" I hollered, not a moment later a girl that looks like she's still in high school came with my drinks.

"Here you go." She said while placing it down

"Why do you look like shit?" I blurted out

Now I think I'm the drunk one but who cares

"Thanks I achieved looking like you." She said proudly and I look at her dumbfounded

I shake my head and ignored her, taking my shots and drinking them swiftly.

"Don't you think your drinking it a bit to fast?" She said while raising her eyebrow. I shrug, consuming the rest of my shots. 

"Okay talk," She said and picked up the glasses "It's obvious that your drowning your sorrows over a boy."

"Is it that obvious?" I ask

"Yes, now talk"

"I don't know..." I say even though I know I was about to blurt everything out on a second.

"You can trust me. Bartenders are good listeners."  She says

"Okay well you see it's a looonnngggg story."

I told her everything. I told her about Daniel, about Coby, and even about my job. She kept refilling my shots as I talked, making me even more drunk.

"Jeez...that is one of the most complicated love story I have ever heard." She says after a long while

"I know...I don't even know where Coby is. He hasn't called or text or shown his face...The person who I don't want to see keeps poppig up everywhere, and the person I WANT to see is nowhere to be found. I seriously need fricking Dora. Maybe she can help me find Coby"

"Miss...who do you love?"

The question hit me harder than a car.

Who...do I love?

"I don't know anymore..."

"Think about it. Do you love your best friend, the person you grew up with, and your first love? Or the man who healed your broken heart, the man who can't give you everything you want, the man who can only give you his infinite love...Who do you love?"

"I don't want anything. I just want someone to love me forever withoutever breaking my heart again" I reply

"And who do you think can do that?"

"I don't fucking know!!!!"

I downed the same shot for the nth time already. I was getting more and more hammered, which was a good thing.

All I wanted right now was love...Matt is in college and we haven't been in touch. I've never been in touch with my parents. Bella and Chris are traveling around the world. Andrew is trying to win Naomi's heart. Oliver is busy with work...Daniel and Coby are...

I just want love. Am I that incapable of love? Will someone ever love me? Will I ever have a normal love life? I don't know. What I do know is that I WILL have another shot.

"Hey can I have another shot?" I say to the bartender

"Ten more shots coming up" She sighs as she gets up

But...

Before she could leave, a hand wrapped around my wrist and dragged me out of the club. I struggled to break free, but this person was too strong. Once we were finally outside, the person turned around to face me. It was a very very angry Daniel.

All I could think about was

"I'm not drunk enough for this"

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