The One Who Got Away

Chapter 33

Dara refused to notice the signs that pointed out to her that something was wrong. At first Dara convinced herself that it was just because of what happened to Seunghyun that caused Jiyong's pervasive brooding mood.

Of late, when they were together he would usually just sit and stare blankly into the distance while absently playing with her earlobe or at times distractedly twirling a lock of her hair around his fingers. Dara all the while would sit quietly, worrying beside him thinking it would be wise to give him some space for his thoughts.

A week after Tabi's hospital transfer, Dara received a message from Tabi's sister. "Seunghyun's getting better. I'd like to think he is. He's doing slow but good progress with his therapy. I'm even quite sure I heard him humming to himself while he was in the shower last night. I'm going to take that as a good sign that he's getting better. He refused to have access to a cellphone or computer but he said to tell you guys not to worry. He said he just needs time to deal with things on his own so he can come back a renewed Seunghyun. Thank you for your support all this time."

Dara sat up as she read the message. She turned swiftly towards Jiyong, excited to share the good news with him, quite sure that it could help lift his somber mood even just a little.

"Ji, Unnie sent me a text about Tabi." She held her phone in front of Jiyong. Jiyong looked at the lighted screen and then just gave a brief nod. His expression did not change, not even a hint of a smile touched his lips. His passive, blank stance scared Dara.

"Ji, talk to me please." Dara's hand convulsed nervously around Jiyong's. "Please tell me what's wrong."

He turned blank eyes towards Dara's imploring ones. "Let's break up, Dee."

Dara's heart skipped a beat at his words. A lump formed in her throat and moisture swiftly gathered on her lids. "No."

His face remained impassive. "Up to now I can still remember your words when you broke up with me. Let's stop this... us... while there still some love left and respect between the two of us. Because if we go on like this..." He paused and gestured at the two of them. "If we go on deceiving ourselves, we'll just end up hating each other. You were right that day and you're still right up to this day."

The tears that threatened to fall were now streaming silently down Dara's face. She was at a loss for words, the pain throbbing in her chest robbed her of words.

Jiyong stood up, turned away from her and took a couple of steps towards the window. He looked up towards the distant sky and took a few deep breaths. Dara also stood up to go to him but he raised his hand to signal her to stop.

He knew if she touched him right then he won't be able to follow through with what he had already resolved to do a few days back. He had been struggling and Dara was right to be worried because Jiyong had been stewing over a decision that involved both their happiness.

What happened to T.O.P brought out into the open a can of worms that Jiyong had been trying to forget he had. Jiyong was exactly in the same place as T.O.P a few years back.

After the first flush of fame that came with being BigBang's G-Dragon faded he had slowly plunged into despair. Success wasn't as he imagined it to be, it had only left him feeling empty. Nothing seemed to matter anymore after finding out that his childhood dreams of being a superstar would not give him anything substantial but would only leave him with a bittersweet aftertaste in the end.

At first he habitually drenched himself with alcohol. The alcohol had made it easier for him to fake a laugh. But eventually even the alcohol hadn't been enough. While attending a party, he was offered by a random girl a rolled up cigarette. He had been warned multiple times before to always be careful in accepting offers from people he does not know but his judgment had been dulled by the multiple shots of alcohol he had already downed since the party started. He took the joint without any second thought.