Trying To Save A Lost Soul

Chapter four

Beeping sounds were everywhere.I tried covering my ears but it didn't help.I saw Joshua and I waved at him.He approached us and smiled at me.

"I can see that you're back on your feet again."He said,still wearing his nice smile.

"Yeah,at least."I replied,looking at Franklin,he looked like he was about to say something but Joshua beat him to it.

"You came here to see Lamar Davis?" I nodded,how'd he know? "He's been asking for a Franklin Clinton.We managed to get his profile on Lifeinvader,and we found yours.We figured that maybe you're friends or something.And we figured that the only thing or person in this case,Lamar can remember is you Mr Clinton."Joshua finished off,facing Franklin.I had to smile,maybe he can remember me as well!

"Right this way please."Joshua said leading the way."Hey Martha!"He yelled out and waved at her,I also waved at her and followed Joshua.We arrived at a room,Joshua said we should go in,and that's exactly what we did.

Lamar was awake but he looked awful.I had to fight back the tears that were trying to escape.Can't let them escape,not now actually.

"Hey yo LD?Remember me?It's yo dawg Franklin."Franklin said,moving closer to the bed.Lamar looked at him carefully before answering.

"Hey I do remember you,your my home boy Franklin Clinton!"Lamar yelled out,he sat up straight.

"Yeah that's right my nigga!"Franklin said and hugged Lamar."Nothing but some good old nigga love."He said and looked at me.

"Do you remember her?"Lamar looked at me very closely.

"Nah,I have never seen her in my life."Lamar said after a minute or two of silence.Those words stabbed their way through my heart.

"And him?"Franklin pointed to Michael.

"By the way,I'm the rich douche bag you tried to rob."Michael added in.I didn't pay attention to them at all,okay I tried.

"Yeah,the dried up mother fucker I tried to rob on Rockford Hills.I remember you."Lamar said,how can he remember Michael?He didn't play such a big role in his life for fucksakes!I quietly and slowly back away.Once I was outside the door,I walked until I reached the hospitals entrance.I put in my headsets and listen to Don't you remember by Adele.The first words made me cry,instantly.Once I was outside the hospital,I started walking in the direction of Strawberry.As I was walking,I walked past a shop that was selling sharp stuff.The kind of stuff I need right now.I went in and bought two blades,a big knife and a little knife.I got a cab going Vinewood Hills.

                         ****

Dear Franklin or whoever is going to read this

I can't take it anymore,this isn't life.If you really knew how I feel everyday,then you could've at least done something for me either than having sex with me or buying these clothes that I'm currently wearing,by the way,thanks.I am suffering everday,I put on a fake smile to make you happy.You fall for my smile everyday,I fooled you but you didn't notice.If Lamar remembers me,it will be too late.Cause I am very tired of this world,I should've never woke up in the first place.I know this time I won't,goodbye Franklin Clinton,hope you'll meet the one.

Love
Amanda

I wrote before putting the letter down on the bed.I looked at the stuff in front of me.I took the little knife and held it in my hands. "For freedom." I said before plunging the knife in my tummy.I winced at the pain,it was painful yes,but I loved the pain.I fell down and lay there,it was not enough,I took the little knife and dug deeper in the place I stabbed myself.I had to scream this time.The pain was too much to handle,I cried.My last thoughts were of Lamar and Franklin before I lost my consciousness.

                        *****

"She lost a lot of blood sir,she might not make it."A voice said.Whoever the person he was talking to was pretty angry cause he kicked the chair.

"What about the stiches?Are you even going to put them in Doctor Madrazo?Or should I say Martin?"The person asked.Martin,the name rings a bell.

"Of course I will Mr De Santa,and it's Martin,Martin Madrazo."The doctor said before I heard feet screeching against the floor.I didn't bother to open my eyes,I survived,I didn't want to survive.There was no need to survive.The door opened and closed again.

"I found this."A voice said,Franklin's voice.

"You had sex with her?"Michael asked Franklin.

"It wasn't planned okay?It just happened."Franklin replied."Look at that line."Franklin said.

"She really wanted to die,no one writes that in a normal letter."Michael said,I still didn't want to open my eyes.A tear fell out my closed eye.I survived when I didn't want to.The door opened once more before it closed.

"She was pregnant."The same voice said,Martin.

"She was?How many weeks?Days?"Michael asked.

"Two days."Martin replied.I heard a small gasp.I heard nothing but then the door opened and I guess all of them left,then the door closed.When I heard nothing at all,I opened my eyes.

"Why did you try to kill yourself?"Joshua asked."You killed an innocent soul now."He added in."Franklin is right there,should I call him?"I didn't reply to what he asked."Fine,I'll call him anyway."He said and hurried off.I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep.

"I thought you said she was awake."Franklin said,clearly angry.

"She was,I swear on my mother's grave!"Joshua yelled out.I could not Franklin think that he was lying cause he sure as hell wasn't.

"And a man should never swear on his mother's grave if he is telling a lie."I say and I tried sitting up.God that was a bad idea,the pain shot through my left arm,why did I try to kill myself again?

"Whoa,Nurse Hills said you should take it easy,as well as Doc Madrazo."Joshua said to me.Franklin came fourth.

"Why did you try to kill yourself?"Franklin asked,angry,he tried his best not to yell or anything.I was speechless,what was there to say?

"If you read the letter,then you would understand."I said before turning on my right side.I closed my eyes,the tears trickled down my face.

"Hey man,please gimme some alone time with her,please."Franklin said before Joshua left.I opened my eyes,Franklin was sitting next to me,with his hand on my left hip.

"Is it cause Lamar said he don't remember you?"I shrugged my shoulders,I actually don't know.

"I don't know,Franklin.I just wanted to die so badly.I can't understand myself right now,I am nothing but a burden."I reply before letting it all out.Franklin didn't know what to do,so he put his hand on my wound.

"Hey,don't say that.You are not a burden.I get that you felt alone,I felt just like that when you and Lamar crashed."Franklin replied.I hummed in response and suddenly felt sleepy.I yawned and Franklin let go of my wound.

"Sleep well Amanda."Franklin said before he disappeared.Joshua came running in.

"Sweet dreams."He said before placing a small kiss on my forehead.I wanted to say something but I was too drowsy.The last thing I saw was Joshua waving.

                         ***
What about your little knife you stupid motherfucker?You can end it all!

The horrible voice woke me up.There was a clock next to my bed,the time read 03:27.The same horrible voice persuaded me to kill myself,it told me that I will gain freedom.I listened to the voice,rather than listening to myself or Franklin or Michael.