S L O W T O W N

Pills

It was the dark that brought out the screams, the walls would close in on Tyler and compress his lungs until he was forced to gasp for air.

Blurryface sat not too far away, the flickering between a face and pure nothing made Tyler want to rip his own eyes out just so he wouldn't have to see Him watching his breakdown.

He hadn't taken another pill for two days and everything began rapidly catching up on him, and so he sat in his bedroom, pathetically sobbing.

He had shoved Josh twice, he had hurt the only thing he ever cared about that was living and actually showed him some sort of affection instead of tossing him aside like a useless toy that no one wanted to play with, that one broken figure in a child's play box that wasn't never picked up and treated correctly.

He wasn't sure when the hyperventilating had started but once he noticed it, someone did come to play.

But not someone Tyler wanted.

"You drank, you stayed out all night, you, you sinned," she practically spat venom, Tyler cringed.

"I'm sorry mother I don't know what happened,"

"You're going to burn Tyler Robert Joseph, you're going to burn for what you feel, for what you did,"

"Momma no! I didn't do anything wrong!" Tyler cries back, self aware his cheeks were flooded.

"The ideation was there you stupid child," she raises a hand, Tyler dives forward and scrambles to the bathroom on all fours, keeping as low as he could to avoid the eyes.

Blurryface was watching intently, just waiting to gain his voice back.

Tyler crawls into the bathroom, frantically searching through the cabinet to find one of the packets of freedom, ripping the box in a frenzy.

The dream he had last night, he had no idea what it meant, but it felt good, he wasn't evil for feeling okay about something for once even if he would never understand the meaning.

Josh's hands all over his body, placing kisses Tyler would never have dreamed, everything felt so real that the lines between sleeping and reality became blurred.

He flew out of the house in a hurry, worried he had really become the sin he was taught to fear.

He snapped a small white pill from the packet and chucked it in his mouth, no water as he dry swallowed and gagged, somehow managing keeping it down.

If this was the only way and the way he hated, to finally suppress Blurryface and everyone else he was terrified of and the only way to keep Josh, Tyler would do it.

He waited, gripping the basin until the white skin on his knuckles literally tore, but how could he feel it when everything already hurt.

Tyler wanted to ask Josh what the dream meant, but only just having any sort of romantic contact with his new found partner honestly scared him.

He could still hear them cursing him out, too many hands scratching at his scarring arms so Tyler took two more pills, again, swallowing them with no liquid aid.

Not used to not feeling anything, Tyler wiped the tears from his face, and tried to feel again, trying to regain his old persona.

One who only ever spoke in shrugs and mumbles, yet so many thoughts of his blue haired companion flooded his mind whenever he closed his eyes.

"It's the blue hair you know," she called out.

"Shut up! Shut up!" Tyler screamed his last words for as long and as loud as he could until he had to gasp for air, feeling faint.