Breaking Bailey (Now on Radish)

Chapter 14

Mom and Teddy helped me up to my room, talking to me in soft voices. I knew I'd have a hangover in the morning, but it would be better than the heartache I've been dealing with for so long. They stripped me of my gown and helped remove my make up before slipping me into some loose-fitting garments. Mom left after tucking me into bed, to go tell our family that everything was alright. Teddy sat with me, watching the television with little intent.

"Talk to me." I mumbled, resting my head on her shoulder. "I know you're not watching the t.v."

"I'm angry with you, Bailey." She said. She still wouldn't look at me. "Do you know what I did to get him up here? To have him move his entire life from Boston to New York? I went to his apartment, three days ago, to see why you loved him so much. I realized why two minutes after I met him. He would fight for you, no matter what the cost. And you humiliated him." My chin trembled uncontrollably from her words. I screwed up.

"Is he staying in the hotel?" I whispered, playing with the hem of my night shirt. "I need to talk to him."

"I'll call Noah. Seth may not want to talk to you." Teddy said, dialing Noah's number on her phone. After a few minutes, Teddy hung up and looked at me. "He's coming over. I'm going to Noah's room. It's two doors down on the left if you need me." I nodded as I watched her leave my bed and walk to the door.

"Hey," I heard Seth mumble as he passed my sister. He grabbed the chair from the desk and sat down, his eyes locked on the floor. I crawled to the edge of the bed and sat cross-legged in front of my ex-husband.

"I'm sorry, Seth." I whispered, looking at his defeated posture. "I know that doesn't begin to make up for my actions today, but I hope it can start. I never kissed Joe, I just wanted to make you jealous."

"Well, it fucking worked, Bailey." He snarled as he stood. "All I was trying to do was to prove to your family that I cared for you. I wanted to show them—you, above all else—that I wanted to know your family and learn to fall in love with their Bailey as much as I loved my Bailey." I watched as he headed towards the door, and my heart broke.

"Is that it?" I asked. Seth stopped walking and turned to face me. "Yes, that's it. It's not worth it to fight for you, Bailey, if this is how you're going to act."

"You hurt me, Seth." I said, jumping off the bed. "You accused me of being things that I wasn't. How am I supposed to act when you show up unannounced? Happy that my ex-husband is here to mock me? I spent months sobbing over you, I nearly died! And I still couldn't get your attention. Of course, I'm going to act scorned, because I am. The only thing I will apologize for is throwing myself at Joe when I never loved him. That was only to make you hurt a fraction of that you made me hurt." Seth stared at me, his face unreadable.

He turned away from me, shaking his head. "Don't play the guilt card on me, Bailey. All I've felt since I sent those divorce papers was guilt."

"Why did you—divorce us?" I whispered. "You said that it was a mistake." I croaked, trying to hide the sadness in my voice. Seth sighed as he turned to face me. He reached out and cupped my cheeks, using his thumbs to dry my tears.

"I'll admit, the day I the rouse ended, I wanted to spite you. Anything to wound your pride was my ultimate goal. A few days after you left, I started to rationalize the divorce. I convinced myself that it was good for you, to cut all ties with me, when you went back to this life. But that was bullshit. I started watching your show and following your family on social media—I couldn't stop thinking about you, baby. It was horrible. But I had to let you go." I watched Seth as he dropped to his knees, placing his hands on my hips. I watched as he pushed away the satin fabric of my night clothes and pressed gentle kisses against my stomach.

"I'm so sorry I didn't answer your calls. I wish that I had been there for you, to even have you throw something at me as you grieved." He paused, resting his forehead against my stomach. How did he know? Teddy told him. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Bailey. But it's all in the past now. We can start over, forget everything that happened in the past. How many couples can say they got a do-over?" I shook my head as I wormed away from Seth.

"No, Seth," I choked, wrapping my arms around myself. "I can't—I can't have—" Seth stood and pressed me up against the wall.

"I know, Bailey." Seth murmured, pressing his lips to my forehead. "Theodora told me what she saw and what happened." He kissed my neck, dragging his lips behind my ear. "I won't make you tell me about it. I just want you to know that I will love you." Seth covered my lips with his, and I found myself wrapping my arms around his waist. I felt his arms slide under my rear and lift me into his arms, never breaking his kiss.

"Tell me to stop, Bailey." He mumbled against my lips. I unbuttoned his shirt as he walked to the bed. I watched as Seth knelt before me, pulling me towards the edge of the bed. "Do you want this, Bailey? You have to tell me, babe." I took his face in my hands as I licked my lips.

"I want you, Seth." I whispered before I kissed him.

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I curled into my blankets and away from the hand that was shaking me. I wanted to sleep in more and wake up in time for the final dress fitting at three. I was out for the count, and would not wake for anyone.

"Babe, come on. It's breakfast time." Seth whispered in my ear. I groaned as I swatted Seth away.

"Sleep, food later." I mumbled into the pillow. "The maid service brought us coffee, and it's going cold."

"Five more minutes, Seth," I mumbled. I felt the covers being pulled back and a bucket of ice poured on me. I shot up like a rocket and whipped towards Seth, who had already dropped the ice bucket.

"Shit," He mumbled, looking at me as I stood.

"That was rude." I said, picking up his discarded shirt from last night. I slid it on and walked into the bathroom to pee. When I reached the mirror, I stopped and pushed away the open shirt. My scars were still visible. Pink, raised lumps that would never leave me. And Seth saw them. I didn't remember his reaction to them, I was too intoxicated to remember. I turned on my heel and walked back to Seth, who was cleaning off the bed.

"Babe, we need to talk." I said, pulling on his arm. He turned to face me, his hands finding my waist. "What did Teddy tell you about the surgery?" I whispered.

"She said you started bleeding and Noah and Joe took you to the hospital. And then you had your uterus removed." He said as his thumbs brushed over my scars. "It was like a hot coat hanger, Seth, ripping out my ovaries. It was the most intense pain I had ever felt in my life. I was paralyzed from it—I didn't have the choice to remove my ovaries. And I need to know that you won't mind that we can't have kids. Because I know family is important to you, and it's important to me. Because if that's an issue, I need to know now. So you won't break my heart again." Seth pressed his lips to my stomach, grazing my scars.

"I didn't fall in love with you because you could procreate, Bailey." He mumbled. "Come on, babe. Your parents are expecting us in twenty minutes."

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Hello Lovelies!

Finally updated--and a day late... 

Happy father's day to every father out there! And a heads up about the following week: I'll be in Philly from the 20-25. I won't have my laptop with me, sorry. No updates, but I will try to work on some when I get back.

Lots of Love,

DoctorWho