Light

Chapter 8: Floodlight

Josh. I squeezed my eyes shut. Joshua refused to respond to that name ever since we left Greece. No one called him that anymore. Apart from Dad. I guess Joshua would always remain Josh to him.

My hands shook and I tightened my grip on the phone. I hadn't heard Dad's voice for years. Everytime I spoke to him, it was like I went back in time. He always sounded the same and I felt like a kid again, like we were still a proper family. Mum, Dad, Josh and me.

"Holly-bear?" Dad's voice was light, despite being deep. There was a slight raspy edge to it, as if he had a cold. He sounded like a lion. It just made me want to hug him and never let go. My chest constricted and I squeezed my eyes shut.

Mum used to call me Holly-bear too, when I was little. I wiped my tears away and tried to calm down. I hadn't been called that name for a long time. My lower lip trembled as I fought to control my emotions. I could hear people talking in the background, and some clanging noises.

"Dad? Dad— I, I don't know what to do?" I managed to splutter through sobs. There was a loud bang in the background, as if something heavy had fallen, and I wondered if Dad even heard me.

"Sorry, I can't really talk right now, but I'll call you back in about an hour? Really sorry Holly-bear, I'm just out at the moment." Dad's jolly voice sounded forced and his words were rushed. His apology sounded insincere, and my heart dropped.

I covered my mouth to suppress a scream. What could I say to that? The dead dial tone numbed my ear and I sat still. It sounded just like the sound hospital heart monitors made when they flatlined. He didn't even say goodbye.

It was up to me now.

Drying my eyes, I quickly pulled on a clean hoodie from the cupboard, pocketed my phone and grabbed the keys. I had to focus and find Joshua, I could cry about this later.

As I headed downstairs, the floor began to shake and I paused my descent, waiting for the train to pass. I checked on Mum before I left, leaving her a note saying that I was getting some food from the takeaway down the road. My stomach rumbled and I considered actually picking up some food. I hadn't eaten properly all day, but my main priority was finding Joshua. Eating could wait.

Once I got outside, I made my way towards the Cafe, whilst scanning the roads for any sign of him. There was nobody around, as it was dark. Once again, I was the only one stupidly brave enough to walk around on these streets at night. As I neared the Cafe, I took out my phone to call Joshua again. If nothing else, I'd at least hear his phone ringing. The wind bit my ears and I pulled my hood on over my head.

"Come on Joshua, where are you?" I spoke softly, hoping the wind would relay my words to him.

I re-dialed his number and pressed the call button. My shoulders shook involuntarily and I walked closer to the Cafe building. Then I heard it. The beeping of Joshua's phone. He was here somewhere! I looked inside the Cafe through the misty windows, but it was dark in there and I couldn't see well.

"Joshua?" I called out loudly. Following the sound of his ringtone I ended up walking into the side alley adjacent to the Cafe. My heart stopped as I saw Joshua's foot. It had to be his, because I recognised the shoe. I remember helping him choose them at the store. I liked the patterned laces. They were expensive, but Mum didn't mind because Joshua had started his first ever job at the game store. Stones crunched under my boots as I ran into the alley to see Joshua in full view, laying on his side.

I didn't realise that I had screamed, until I gasped for air and found my mouth dry. Joshua had a cut on his forehead that was still bleeding. He wasn't moving and looked pale. I fell to my knees in devastation, and had to crawl the rest of the way to reach him.