How To Be The Best Third Wheel

Original Edition - Tip 22: Re-unite the Hormonal Teenagers

I roll my eyes and kick him lightly in the shin. He laughs, "Anyways, if you want to go on a date with me, which you probably do like every other girl, you can-"

I sigh, "Is this how you ask girls out? Oh gosh, you're terrible. How do you get so many dates? Someone needs to teach you how to properly talk to girls." I snicker as I shake my head.

"No, of course not! They usually ask me out. Plus, if I were to ask a girl out, I'd be much more polite." he tells me, emphasizing the word girl to indicate his lack of intelligence by stating that I am not of the female sex.

"Wow." I voice sarcastically. "Now what do you want me to do?"

"Well, if I win the bet you have to," he declares, pointing a finger at me, "accompany me to a banquet next Saturday."

"Accompany? James if you want to go out with me, just say so. I'll reject you just the same either way." I remark with sass in my tone. Mean? No, not really. I mean, it's James after all.

"Don't assume things, De la Cruz. The only reason I need you to accompany me is because I need someone to help me look like the young, smart heir that people think I am." he explains.

"Sorry but I think your reputation of being a party animal and a player has already ruined that for you." I reply.

"At least I don't drink or do drugs at those parties." he remarks. That, I know is true. Good thing too. I'm glad that he doesn't take part in all the weed smuggling at the school. I swear, the washrooms are disgusting when you walk in on students smoking weed. Ugh.

"So what do I have to do with you pretending to be smart?" I ask.

"Well, smart people have smart girlfriends and I need a smart girlfriend." he states.

I pretend to throw up. "Help! Help! I think I might die from digust if I pretend to be romantically involved with you!" I scream dramatically as I fall onto the floor, curl into a ball and pretend to be dying.

He laughs and crouches down to help me up. "Listen, I have to look good for the event. This is going to be the first time I'm going to see dad after he left to work on a project in Paris, two months ago. This is going to be the one banquet where I actually can't hide from people! You've got to help me!" he pleads, still laughing.

I feel kind of bad for him. As much as he seems so happy and cheerful, he's still a human (kind of) and he misses his dad as much as I'd miss mine if he were away. The thing with James is that he barely has time with his dad. That's why whenever Tito Danny comes back, they're always glued to the hip and James never leaves his side. Being with his family brings out a soft side in him that rarely anybody sees.

"Fine. But you have to win the bet first, and frankly, I think I'll be really lucky with the ten bucks." I retort.

"Will you? Will you really?" he says, walking towards the classroom door and peeking through the glass window. "Hey, how much time has passed since we locked them in there?" he asks.

"Why? And," I look at my phone, "10 minutes."

"I think we need to start looking for a nice dress for the banquet." he states with a smirk.

I run to the window to see what the idiot was looking at. The sight of Carol and Mark hugging meets me. They pull away, and he cups her face. He leans in, ready to kiss her. There is a wild hunger in their eyes. She closes her eyes as Mark leans in to-

First of all, why am I acting like a terrible romance writer at the moment?

Second of all, "STOP! THIS IS A CLASSROOM FOR GOODNESS SAKE!" I yell so loudly that they jump away from each other and stare at me wide-eyed. "AND THANKS TO YOU I'M NOT GOING TO BUY A COMBO AT BURGER KING!" I realize my loudness and regain some composure.