Crestfallen ↬ Carl Grimes (old version)

F E A R F U L

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO; FEARFUL

❝ You remember and dwell on all the things you've lost and ignore the things you haven't. Because your scars are like stars. Yet the night stays perfectly black.❞

❝They're screwing with the wrong people. ❞

➳

IF I WERE TO SAY THAT I COULD NEVER FEEL FEAR, it would be a lie. Yes, over the past couple of years I have strategically forced my mind to not lower itself down to the degree where fear could easily be tasted. But here and now, it almost feels as if I've lost all of my strength. I could feel the fear pumping in my bloodstream like silver, rising goosebumps up my arms and neck and scratching it's way up my throat in an inhuman scream. It felt unnatural. Inumane. Unbearable. I could barely even remember the last time I felt this way, much less place myself in an experience where I would actually be afraid for my own life and the lives of the people around me. And now that I have, it was almost like a heavy weight taken off of my already burdened shoulders and settling itself precariously on the edge of my heart, peering over the darkness to gaze at my lungs with threatening eyes. It wasn't something I could get used to, nor did I want to, for the idea of someone else being able to control a major portion of my emotions made me want to hide away and only return until the threat was over. It was the only thing that could ever force me to react this way.

"Don't take it so personally, girl," Gareth's voice echoes throughout the gravel clearing, victorious and strong amongst his many pairs of eyes hiding in corners of shadows, "It's not like I want to do this. We all just thought it would be fun to see how things would tas-...How things would play out if we set up more things to fear than just one main one. Gotta get that blood pumping, ya know?"

Searing hot anger forces me to close my eyes, my hands tightening into fists at my sides as the two emotions balance out one another. Fear and anger, maybe the worst possible mix any normal person could have. But for me, in my current situation, it was my only weapon.

This guy- This group was sick. They only wanted to toy with us. Play us like puppets in some kind of show to see how viscous we could get until we finally submitted. I had no doubt that they had more than one trick up their sleeve. And where there's a trick, there's no doubt a secret.

"Just let the girl come with us," Rick argues, his voice louder and more threatening compared to the tinted one of Gareth's, "We've done what you've asked so you should kindly return the favor."

Even with my eyes closed, I could still imagine the cold and razor sharp look in Rick's eyes as he says those words, identical to the face he had during the roadside ambush; Cold, bloodthirsty and malicious. To almost anybody, it would seem frightening and send them running towards the hills begging for their mothers. Hopefully, Gareth wasn't anyone different.

"Come on, Rick, don't be like that. Use your head. If I give the girl to you it would just ruin all the fun." A moment's hesitation, almost as if he were thinking twice before saying something, until finally, "But you're right. What kind of host would I be if I didn't play fair?"

Letting out a shaky breath I didn't even realize I was holding in, I release my hands from the tight fists they were held as, stretching out my numb fingers as my eyes allow themselves to open against the bright sunlight. Instinctively, my eyes meet those of Carl's, worry as clear as day in the bright eyes of his, even with the distance placed between us. Sending him a shaky smile, I tear my eyes away from his and look up towards Gareth instead, watching as the man's face morphs into a wicked grin, sending a knot of uneasiness to tighten inside of my stomach.