Crestfallen ↬ Carl Grimes (old version)

E V E R L A S T I N G

CHAPTER THREE: EVERLASTING

"I'm afraid to speak my mind because what if I speak the wrong things?"

"Never would I have thought that this girl would be this damaged. Even at first glance, I thought that she was just a regular survivor. But now I could see all of her broken pieces."

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Carl Grimes POV

THE GIRL DISTRACTED ME. When I first came into the house and pointed my gun at the back of her head, I didn't expect her to be like me. Truthfully, I think that if she was a walker it would have been better, easier to handle. I could've, no, I should've killed her. Pulled the trigger without thinking twice about it. Used my anger to fuel me. My dad, my sister, my mother, all dead or dying. And Lord knows what happened to the rest of the group back at the prison. Wouldn't it be better if they were all dead too?

But this girl. When she turned around and looked at me with those lost, distant brown eyes, I couldn't do it. I knew I couldn't shoot her. She was another survivor. A living, breathing, person trying their hardest to make it through their teen years when the world around them is crumbling apart. She was like me in many ways, some I probably didn't even understand, yet no matter what, there was always going to be one major difference. This girl has been alone for a long time, there was no doubt about it. From her bruised hands to the scars on her face, it was almost as if she were a book and every flaw visible to me were words telling a story I couldn't yet understand. But I still gave her the benefit of the doubt. I was playing my part as the clueless questioner, and I was going to continue to do it until I knew more about this girl. She was a hazard, yes. A danger to me and my structured, well-built walls that I have learned to create after the many years of disaster that somehow always manages to find it's way between me and the people I love. She was only temporary, a ticking time bomb counting away the days she has left until she dies. Just like everything else.

But something inside me fought with my smart reasoning. Maybe, if it were someone else, I wouldn't have even thought twice about killing. Maybe. But with one glance at this stranger, it was almost enough to make me put down my weapon altogether. How could that be? Everything about this whole situation made me curious, and now, including this wild idea about this stranger and her undeniable way to mute death, it only made me more interested in the lost girl in front of me. It would be selfish to drag her along with me just because of my sudden realization, but I still wanted to. I needed to. What would happen if I just let this play out? What if I let myself go and act upon my own selfish curiosity and take in this helpless girl in front of me?

For someone I just met it was an odd feeling to be so curious and drawn toward a stranger. It was...unnatural. But then again, what was natural anymore? In less than an hour this girl had my brain flipped, my guard lowered, and my curiosity level to a maximum. My gun was gone by now, tucked safely in its holster; it seemed as if this girl could harm me in any way, much less hold her own weight. With the dining table working as a border between us, the silence was thick as we both stayed consumed in our own thoughts. She didn't trust me yet, I had no doubt about that. But it was fine. I wouldn't trust myself either. With the blood coating my hands and the scars littering my arms, I must've looked like some sort of killer. But the more I paid attention, the more I realized that she didn't even seem to care about my appearance. As she sat there, her brown eyes almost seemed to be lost, not looking at me, more so, through me. Giving her already undead appearance more of a haunted display.

"How come you haven't left yet?" The words were quiet out of her motionless mouth, her face not even changing in the slightest as she continues to stare at nothing, almost making me believe that I was just imagining things. That is, until, her eyes suddenly seem to sharpen and her head turns in my direction. Slowly, she raises one questioning eyebrow, waiting for my answer.