Forever and a day (Sequel to Broken) *Editing*

18

~I really gotta figure out how I'm gonna end this😭~

Zonnique~

Bahja stared at me, hard. For the past 20 minutes she's just been staring at me. I played with my hands, looking down to break eye contact.

I heard her sigh which made me look back up, "are you nervous?"

"Of course I am."

"Why?"

"Because it's a hard thing to process. I'll have a baby growing inside me. What if he says no? Or what if I can't make a baby? What if there's a miscarriage or some complications within the pregnancy? Can a woman with a broken leg get pregnant?"

She started laughing at me, "you're overthinking."

"Am I really?"

"Yes, everything will be fine." She reached across the table and grabbed my hand.

"Why couldn't we just adopt like we've always talked about? It's less complicated and we'll be giving a child a home."

"You've always talked about wanting your OWN flesh and blood around. You don't want this, we don't have to do it. It's up to you."

I bit my lip nervously. I want to go through with this for Bahja, but I'm not sure If I can handle all of that. Being pregnant is nothing easy.

"I want to do it."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded, "but maybe while we go through this process... We should remain single. I mean, throughout the entire pregnancy. You'll still be around and everything, but I don't need the stress of us arguing and fighting."

"I don't like the sound of that, maybe we should hold off until we're TRULY ready."

"But you want this."

"But do YOU?"

I frowned my face up and thought about it. Do I really want to be carrying a baby inside of me for 9 months? At 21 years old? I'm JUST starting my life and I don't want the stress of a baby weighing down on me.

Maybe I'm not ready, but I'm too worried about Bahja's happiness and what she wants. I haven't focused on what will be best for me... I'll be a parent. A parent to a child I don't even know if I really want.

"Zo?"

"Hm?"

"Do you not want to?"

I bit my lip nervously and shook my head no. "Not really..."

"You should've just been honest from the jump. I completely understand. I don't want to pressure you."

"But you're not. I was the one who said I wanted a baby."

"And so did I."

"And that's what makes me not want to back out of this... It's something we both want, but I'm too afraid and I'm not ready to step up to the plate for this kind of responsibility."

"We can wait."

"Yeah, but we wait too long and who's to say we'll be together?"

She cocked her head to the side, "are you saying we won't be together?"

"I'm not saying that, I'm just saying there's no guarantee. I definitely want to be with you, we just need space to think."