Falling for Jackson Wang | MARKSON

Chapter 34 | Sorry, again.

"Jackson?"

"G-get l-los-st." He stuttered, not bothering to lift his eyes to mine.
"What's wron-"
"Jus-st g-go!"
"Jack-"
"It's n-not-t like y-you c-car-ed anyw-way!"
"What the heck are you talking about?!" I yelled, rushing over to his side.
"F-forg-et it." He sniffed, wiping his nose with his shirt and forcing himself up from the ground.
"You've got what you wanted, what more could you possibly need?!" I cracked, feeling the familiar tightness in my throat return.
"I need you! All I w-want-ted was y-you!"
"You played me!"

I wish he could have replied.

"I-"
"Mark. we need to-" Hoseok asked, before his eyes scanned over Jackson and I... and it clicked.
"Hoseok, just meet me outside." I urged, trying to get him out of here.
"Oka-"
"D-don't w-worr-y I w-was just l-leavin-g." Jackson muttered, pushing past J-Hope and rushing out the door.
"Mark, I didn't-"
"It's fine, you didn't know. I just-"
"He looked really upset... do you want me to-"
"Hoseok, I can't stop thinking about him."
"What do you mean?"
"I still love him. I try so hard not to, but some part of me thinks he loves me."
"Mark."
"I know it was all a bet but... what if it wasn't?"
"You're going insane."
"You're right. I just- I wish I didn't come here in the first place."
"I'm sorry." He apologised, giving me a sad glance.
"No. Thank you. You didn't have to come, and I'm actually sort of glad you did." I smiled, despite my depression slowly taking over my thoughts.
"No problem... Oh, yeah. We need to go now, Joon and Jin are in the car waiting."
"Okay... you can go ahead, I just need to grab something." I lied, watching as he hesitantly walked out the door.

The minute he left, I felt as if the air surrounding me was toxic, every breath was harder to take and every second I stood felt like hours without oxygen.

I thought I could get over him.

He was crying, crying to an extent I have never seen before.
He was sobbing.

Because of me?

Maybe.

Should I care?

No.

Do I?

Yes.

I've never seen him so upset, whether it be because of the game or myself, it still broke my heart. Seeing him like that hurt me, and it shouldn't.

But it did.

-------------•

"I'm so glad we won." Jin commented as he ordered some pizza online from his phone.
"Jackson would be in so much trouble if we didn't." Namjoon replied, driving through the dark, cold streets.
"I don't think he's going to be Captain anymore, they're probably going to allocate Jinyoung." Hoseok added, scrolling through Instagram.
"That must absolutely crush him, can you imagine? It's all he's ever done. All through high school he was the captain." Jin sighed, ordering a ham and pineapple and pepperoni pizza.
"And to make it even worse, he just froze. Made a complete fool of himself."
"I know, how weird is that? Maybe he's just tired."
"Yeah, he looked really tired."
"Probably stressed."
"I would be stressed t-"Namjoon agreed, before I shouted.
"Can we stop talking about Jackson?!"
"Oh. Yeah. Sorry." Namjoon apologised, laughing nervously to ease the tension.
"Anyway, Mark, do you want to stay at Joonie's house tonight?" Jin asked, looking at me from the front seat. "I'm staying too."
"Uhh... I don't-"
"You don't have to. Hoseok isn't going to be there because he decided to choose his assignment over me." Jin sassed, locking then placing his phone down in his lap.
"Leave me alone." J-Hope whined.
"Okay. Yeah sure, I'll do it." I smiled, knowing well I should avoid being alone tonight.