Falling for Jackson Wang | MARKSON

Chapter 28 | Anniversary

WARNING: Angst angstangstangstangstangstangst
Because Hoseok, just so happened to walk into the room.

"Hoseok." I gasped, a little too quietly. I was completely surprised, he didn't have to show up.

But he did.

"What do you want?" He groaned, closing the door behind him and giving me an icy glare.
"I want to talk to you."
"I know what you're going to say, and I don't want to hear it. I'm over this, Mark." He sighed in frustration, clenching his fists.
"Please, I just need you to hear me ou-"
"You never heard me out! You never listened to what I had to say! And even when you did, you never believed me! I warned you about Jackson countless times, even after that you crawled back to that backstabbing lowlife."
"Hos-"
"Mark, why should I listen to you?"
"You don't have to listen to me, but I wanted to apologise to yo-"
"What? So you could feel better? So you could sleep at night? Mark, words are just words. You can say sorry a billion times but that doesn't take back the weeks of misery I've been through." Hoseok hissed, his voice had cracked and I could tell he was getting upset. "I needed you more than ever, I trusted you with everything, and you just got up and left."
"Hopi-"
"When Jimin and Suga got together I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I couldn't concentrate. I wanted to die. I nearly did, but you know what kept me going?  You. I thought maybe you would help me get through it, but you just made it worse, you made me realise how much of a failure I am."
"Jung Hoseok, you're not a failur-"
"I started taking my anti-depressants again, but even that couldn't help me, Mark." Hopie cried, leaning against the wall.

I felt tears cloud my vision, and I knew it was too late. I hurt him too much.

"Hoseok-"
"I'm getting better, it's a slow recovery, but I'm getting there. I don't want to trust you again, you'll just tear me down again."

And after that, he finally let me talk.

"I'm so sorry, I know what I did was wrong. It was more than wrong. I was stupid. I left you, I know. I know I should have just left Jackson once I heard about the bet, I wish I did. I shouldn't have got with him in the first place. I chose him over you, and I regret it every day. I wish I could have just ignored him, let him live his own life, but I didn't. I sacrificed everything, for some stupid bet... that isn't even a bet after all... so really, all of it was for nothing."

Hoseok didn't say anything, all he did was stare at me with an unreadable expression, so I continued. I was shaking and I felt extremely vulnerable in the middle of the room, but I needed to do this.

"I can't take back what I did and I tried to ignore it, I tried to ignore you. I try to erase you from my thoughts because every darn time I think about you, I'm reminded of how much of an idiot I am. I miss the way you used to laugh. I miss your smile. I miss you. All you ever did was look out for me, and I didn't realise that. But I hope one day, just one day, someone loves you Hoseok. Someone loves you more than anything because you're so precious, you deserve everything and anything. I hope someone treats you like a piece of art, because you are. You're the sunshine, an angel. You gave me so much hope, that I didn't realise I needed until it was too late. You're the best friend any one could ask for. I'm sorry Jung Hoseok. I really am."

I couldn't see him anymore, I couldn't see anything. My eyes were too filled with tears. Every time I would wipe my eyes, new tears would form. I was sobbing, the hardest I've ever cried, to the point I struggled to breathe.

"I don't trust Jackson. I never did. I know what he's doing, and it's not over." Hoseok sniffed, I heard his footsteps move towards the door.