I woke up in agony. My head is throbbing and my vagina is hurting terribly. Bryson, next to me mumbles in his sleep. Soft snores are escaping his mouth. I shake his shoulder with my trembling hands. He opens one eye and looks at me with his adorable sleepy face. He notices me gasping for air and immediately sits up.
"What's wrong babe? Did you have a nightmare?"
"No" I say in tears as I remove the blanket and see the blood on the sheets. No this can't be happening. We've done so good.....
"Baby what's that? Why? No-" Bryson says in panic! And jumps out of bed putting his clothes on. He helps me to get out of bed and put on clothes.
"Were going to the hospital now".
He carries me bridal style downstairs and into the car. My body still hurts but not as much as before. Only ten minutes later and we arrive at the hospital. We get inside and they immediately bring me into an examination room. Bryson follows us and sits beside me on a chair while I lay on a bed. My stomach hurts. My whole body hurts.
Bryson holds my hands and strokes with his thumb semicircles on the back of my hand. A doctor walks in and introduces himself. He asks what happened and I tell him that I woke up in pain and that on the sheets were blood. He frowns and put some clear gel on my bare belly. He examines me with an ultrasound device and looks at the little screen next to me. Bryson and I look at it as well and to be honest I don't really see anything on it. Tears are making my vision blurry and my head feels as if its going to explode. The doctor frowns.
"Well I'm sad to announce it, but you've lost your baby". The doctor says caring, and puts the ultrasound device away and folds his hands in his lap. "You've had a miscarriage and I feel it's best for the two of you to get some rest. I'm sorry" he shakes our hands again but I don't remove my eyes from the plain white wall. Bryson brings my hands to his mouth and gives each knuckle a gelntle kiss. I feel water on my hands and I know bryson is crying. I try to suppress the tears but to know that it hits Bryson so hard causes me to cry as well. Again.
"Look at me angel" I shake my head.
"Please" I turn my head to him and to see him crying is heartbreaking. His other hand reaches for my face and he puts a strand of hair behind my ear. His hand rests on my cheek.
"I'm so sorry" I apologize, "I know how happy you and Harley were to have a little brother and son running around the house, but I've lost it. I'm so sorry. Its all my fault. I can't even do this right".
"It is not. This can happen to anyone" Bryson says in a chocked voice.
"But to us? What did we do wrong that we have to get punished like that" I cry out, Bryson shakes his head.
"I don't know babe. I don't know. But we can try again. Maybe not now or tomorrow or in two weeks. We can try it again when you're ready, okay? This is not your fault" bryson assures me and comes closer to my face to press our foreheads together.
"I love you so much and I know we loves this baby but I know we will love this new baby as much as we loved this one. We can give it another try".
"Thank you" I say and close my eyes. I'm exhausted and tired. Bryson places his soft lips on my forhead and remain like that for a while. I wrap my arms around his broad neck. Bryson gives me the hold I need at the moment. I'm so glad to have someone like Bryson although I don't know how how I deserved someone as perfect as him. Bryson was so happy to become a father again. He didn't speak from something else but now I lost the baby. A little baby boy that would make our family of three perfect but now he is in another place, in a better place.
