Intoxicate (phan)

1 - couples

"so..." phil said, immediately making dan tense. he hated when people threw the conversation onto him. it made him feel uncomfortable and aware of his awkwardness and suddenly he detested phil doubly as much as he had before.

"so what?" dan asked bitterly, leaning against a counter.

"um, do you want something?"

dan frowned.

"...or did you just want to see me? because, i'm sorry, but i'm—"

"no, you arrogant shit," dan swiftly interrupted. "i didn't come to see you. i'm looking for marcus."

"oh." phil shrugged, grabbing a spoon from a drawer and taking his bowl back into the lounge, once again, leaving dan to trail behind him. phil then sat down in front of the tv and started switching through channels. "marcus isn't here."

"yeah, i got that far on my own," dan deadpanned, as phil sat back and put his feet on the coffee table.

"okay," was all he said.

"so when is he going to be back?" dan asked, awkwardly standing next to the tv.

"huh? oh, you didn't get that far on your own?" dan rolled his eyes, but remained silent. honestly, he was unsurprised by phil's idiocy. "i don't know. he went on holiday with his girlfriend. might be a few days."

"a few days? i need to see him right now."

"i can pass on a message?" phil offered, eyes stuck to the tv.

"no, no. uh, i need weed and i usually buy it off him," dan explained reluctantly.

phil looked up in surprise, eyes drifting over dan's figure again, as if he'd seen him in a new light. "you smoke?"

"yes," dan answered defensively.

"and you buy it off marcus?" phil asked, tv show completely forgotten.

"is that a problem?" dan asked in a tight voice, becoming irritated by phil's excessive questioning.

"no... just... no, marcus isn't here."

dan huffed, "we've already been over this."

"you don't have to be so pissy all the time, you know," phil said, already refocusing on the tv.

dan had had enough. he'd had more than enough. it had been a shit week and he needed to smoke, but instead, he got phil and now he was feeling dizzy with exhaustion. the walls kept swaying around him, probably because he couldn't remember the last time he had eaten.

and so he turned, walking back to the door, and weakly pulled it open. "tell marcus he owes me."

but before he could step out of the apartment, phil's hand had curled around his, freezing him in place. "wait."

he didn't understand how phil had moved so fast. he decided he was obviously much sicker than he thought. he yanked his fingers from between phil's cold ones. "what do you want?"

"i'm going to do a nice thing because i feel like everyone should do nice things every once in a while. stop making that face."

dan scoffed, eyes drifting to the door again. he needed to leave before he threw up or something. "a nice thing?"

"i can tell you really need a smoke. i didn't put it all together before, i thought you were just a freak. you're really pale, you keep fidgeting, and you move so jerkily."

"thanks, really. when does the nice thing come in?"

"i'll let you have some of mine."

"weed?" dan asked, voice high with hope.

"yes, weed," phil replied in a cynical tone.

"how much?" dan asked, hand automatically reaching towards his back pocket where he kept his wallet.

"it's on me," phil assured, stopping dan's arm. "nice thing, remember?"

dan tilted his head in confusion, pulling his arm away from phil's cool hand. "so, where is it?"

"you can't take it with you. like hell, i'd let you run away with my shit."

dan squinted his eyes, glancing first at the apartment, then at phil. "fine, i'll stay and we'll smoke together." as soon as he said it, he knew it was a bad idea, but he also knew how desperate he was.

a coy smile lit up phil's face. "in exchange for one little thing."

dan's eyes flickered to the floor. he knew it was too good to be true. "what do you want?"

phil mischievously rubbed at his chin. "hm, i have so many options."

"get on with it,"phil muttered, uncomfortable with being so vulnerable.

"i want... hm, i want you to tell me why you kissed my girlfriend. and then ran away. i mean, i know why, but i want to hear you say it."

"anything else," dan pleaded weakly.

"nope."

"i'm leaving," dan said, turning back to the open door.

"yeah, no surprise there. go on, run away," phil scoffed.

dan whipped back around. "excuse me?"

"we both know leaving is the only thing you're good at."

"and being a dick is the only thing you're good at."

before dan could say another word, phil had grabbed him by the collar and was pinning him against the wall. "fuck you," he spat, rattling dan.

"why do you still care?" dan choked out, voice weak.

"you ruined my life. you took away the only good thing i had."

"fine, fine," dan said, unable to stay against the wall any longer. phil uncurled his fists and dan took a step away from him. "i-i didn't come to rehash old drama."

"i need you to say it," phil said forcefully.

"you already know," dan panted, his breathing still uneven.

"yes, but i want to hear you say it. i want you to admit that you ruined my life over a petty little—"

"ruined your life? you know if i was in a better mood i would be bent over laughing, right now. you don't even know what a ruined life looks like."

"say it," phil's tone had become menacing.

"why is it such a big deal to you? we were 16! take it up with your fucking girlfriend."

"i can't. she wouldn't speak to me. because of you. you broke us up like it was nothing."

"clearly, it was nothing if she was so ready to leave you."

"shut up! just shut up! you took the thing i valued most, i should beat you to death right now," phil screamed.

"stop saying that," dan yelled back. "you think you can guilt trip me into caring that you didn't have a girlfriend for a few days? you still had your millionaire father and loving family and football team captaincy and popularity. you think i could ever feel bad for you?"

"you should, because—"

"you think i can bring myself to care what happened to you, when your team of goons threw yoghurt at me, threw books at me? when they laughed every time i walked into the room? when they made faces behind my back? you think i can care when you let them do that to me? because you didn't want anyone to know we used to be friends? you think i can care when i was fighting by myself?"

"i never—"

"don't. i'm glad you were a selfish dick. you made me stronger. and now i can leave knowing how weak you made yourself." dan rubbed his eyes roughly, satisfied when he opened them again to find that the room had finally stopped swaying. "goodbye, phil."

and it was right then that dan collapsed into phil's arms.

((a/n tell me what you think so far??? and please vote and comment :)))

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