Bong Rips and Blowjobs (A Game Grumps Fanfiction)

+-+ Thirty Six +-+

TW: suicide attempt

++ DANNY'S VIEW ++

"Babe go back to work I'll be fine." Patty says, the grip on my waist loosening.

"I'm not leaving you home alone. You can come with me or I can have Suzy or Holly come here?" I suggest, pulling him back into my chest. Patty wiggles in my grip and moves so he is properly looking at me.

"I'll be fine. I just panicked okay?" Patty says and I sigh, as he softly runs his thumb over my cheek.

"What if you panic again and I'm not here to stop you and you go to far?" I say, my vision getting watery.

Patty leans foreword to softly kiss me, but the hand he has on my waist grips harder. I push him onto the bed and climb on top, pulling back from the kiss to look at him.

"Go to work." Patty says, pecking my lips with every word.

"But I want to stay here and cuddle with you." I say, rubbing my hands up and down his sides.

"You have to record. I'll be here when you get back, I promise. I'll call Suzy if something happens." Patty says, with a smile.

"Alright alright. Take care of yourself. I'll be home around ten." I say, kissing him hard before climbing off his lap.

"I love you." Patty says grabbing my hand before I leave the room.

"I love you more."

"Fuck you. I love you most." Patty calls after me with a laugh.

++ PATTY'S VIEW ++

My hands were shaking so hard that the pen was drawing squiggles all over the paper. I had to write my heart out, I have to get this pain out somehow. But there was no use anymore. I knew exactly what I was going to do and not a single person could stop me.

I am so fucking stressed out and taking the blade to my wrists or legs doesn't help anymore. I'm so fucking numb that just saying I love you to Danny tears me up inside because I know how much I mean it.

Danny is the only ray of sunshine I have left in this world and I know he would be better off without me.

A few deep breaths later and I can finally take the pen to a separate piece of paper. The words flowing easily through my heart and to the paper.

Danny my sweet sweet baby,
Please don't blame yourself for this because I've been wanting to do this for weeks now. Ever since Barry raped me- I have felt my body falling apart.
I love you Danny- with every fiber in my being I love you so fucking much. I just don't know if you would or even can be the one to save me. I'm drowning baby and I don't know how to swim anymore, I feel like weights are tied to my feet and everyday they get heavier.
Please- move on from me. I'm not anything special, shit- if you go back to New Jersey you could find another hundred of me. I love you so much but please, find someone better than me. I love you so much baby. I love you to the end of the World and back.
-Patrick Lee

I could have kept writing, my mind still swarming with everything I could say to him. But I didn't know how to put my thoughts into understandable words, it would probably come off as chicken scratch.

Folding the letter, I walked to the bathroom and turned on the water for the tub. Wearing an old shirt and shorts, I climbed in and closed the drain softly letting the water fill around me. When it reached about the lip of the tub I turned it off and reached for the razor blade I had on the ground.

The water was warm around me, and honestly I was surprised I could even feel it. I could barely feel a single thing as I wrote the letter and walked to a store to buy these razor blades. I needed them extremely sharp because I want this pain to be over.

I rubbed my arm for a few seconds before pressing the blade in and pulling it up. Gasping as the blood immediately started to change the water from clear to a faded red colour.

I was violently shaking as I did the same to my other arm, sobbing as I laid in the water.

I can hear my heartbeat getting louder in my ears and my vision getting fuzzy, my breathing escalating as I sobbed. The neighbour who shares the wall with this room is banging on it- asking me if I was alright.

I don't want to die- I just want someone to know that I'm not okay and that I'm drowning.

((Hey baby dolls. Okay- this is the last sad topic in the story! The rest will be all fluffy I promise!
-I am also writing a new story and if you go to my page it's in the list titled helped write and it's the second story. Give that girl some love and I write to you in the next update.
-Kells ))

Shit. P.S. I am also going back and putting trigger warnings on every chapter so sorry for the update spam