Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor)

9.1 Boys From Venus

You should already know by now I use strong language in my writing. I shouldn't warn people in this far but up it goes anyway.

I was drafting my two weeks' notice letter when Carmen burst into my bedroom. "Can you believe it? I won VIP passes to see Boys from Venus!" Even with headphones blasting folk metal, it was as if she yelled into my ear.

I removed my headset. "Yeah, you could've knocked before you started jumping and screaming into my room."

"If I did that, you wouldn't hear me. Seriously, Lena, this is one of the greatest things happening right now."

"Yeah, I'm gonna go–"

"I've been dying to see them live the first moment I discovered their music," Carmen rambled on. "Technically, Angela introduced them to me first because after she left to live on her own, she had access to everything. TV shows, manga, the occult, boybands — you name it! Stepdouche tried to prevent me from listening to them, but mom sort of liked them too. I wasn't allowed any of their CD's or permitted to attend their concerts though."

"Not even a pencil case?"

"Not even if they had their own branded cereal. Any money I got for my birthday he'd police what I'd buy. Anyway, fast forward to a month ago and the band announces a reunion tour and a new album. Radio station has a contest for VIP passes so naturally I enter as many times as I — is that your ear twitching?"

I turned around to face her. "Hmm?"

"Your ear twitched. You're hiding something aren't you?"

Truth be told, Boys from Venus was a guilty pleasure of mine even though I was mostly into alternative rock and post-grunge during the mid-nineties. They had your typical get-in-your-pants songs, but unlike pop bands back in those days, they had a darker and edgier sound. The rest of their songs were generic 90s boyband pop, yet their 90s pop crap was catchy. That and a set of highly glamorized teenage boys who would make your panties wet.

"Did you enter the contest too?" She asked with a teasing tone.

"You've been obsessing about them coming to town you'd forgotten about the presale. I was going to surprise you with tickets for your birthday, but they sold out the moment I tried to buy them. Since you also have the radio blasting in the kitchen while making oxtail curry, I decided to enter too to help out." A brief period of silence, then I realized that wasn't the answer she was expecting. "Yes, I like Boys from Venus." Before she could squee I added, "I'm not an overly crazed fan or anything like that."

Still, she squeed anyway. "This is awesome! That means I can take you with me. Donnie, Jonas, Justin, Malik — just think how up close and personal we will be!"

"And other fans," I reminded her. "The radio station is giving away four sets of those passes. Six other fangirls are competing to get hands on their — how old are they now?"

"They got to be in their forties at least."

Her guess was as good as mine.

"And yet, they appear to be our age — well, my age I should say. Hell, if they look that great when they reach 80 — oh God, I just didn't think that, did I?"

"You probably did, Carmen."

She shuddered at the idea of how they would look when they're way past their prime. "If only teenage me didn't write that fan fiction of Donnie being a vampire."

"Wait, did you write a story about a teenage girl getting kidnapped by Donnie who wanted to make her one of his sex bitches?"

"It wasn't the most original of fan fictions, but — raas! My secret's out!"

I chuckled. "I don't know how damaging that'll be to your street cred if anyone knew."

"Well, now you know. I trust you to keep secrets, but please don't tell anyone else this?"

Yes, discovering my roommate had created a fantasy of being swept away by a sexy vampire was surprising. A funny one to say. I couldn't remember her screen name as other stories with similar if not the same plot existed throughout message boards and fanfiction sites. A band member, either Donnie or Jonas as they're the most common ones, kidnaps a young girl, typically a teenage one. Band member has all the riches in the world, a fancy castle or mansion, and a harem. Girl somehow is spared from the harem and automatically made his number one concubine, more or less. Girl gets raped repeatedly and doesn't resist. She wants to fix the broken man, or assumes he's broken, but gets broken easily to wanting to be with him for all eternity and gives up fixing him. Fuck, it's fantasies like this that make newbie vampires into the brooding type because they don't fucking realize they have to live the vampire lifestyle until they die. Killing vampire mom or dad won't turn you back, nor is there a magic spell to fix things. Now, where was I?

"My lips are sealed, Carmen. So, the concert is when? This Friday?"

"I believe so. Is there something wrong?"

"I'm still working at the community centre." I pointed to the monitor and continued, "Just started on my resignation letter and I've got about two weeks until I leave."

"Good call leaving, but you sure you don't want to come?"

I tilted my head back. "Someone else might enjoy the experience more than I would. I'm just happy enough to be the first pick."

She frowned, but that turned upside-down quick and she returned to celebrating her win. A vase broke in the process, but she assured it was a knock-off. As for me? I switched off the folk metal and put on that Boys from Venus song I liked. The name of the song escapes me, but they mention something about not being your average boyband. As much as I wanted to avoid them, that didn't stop future encounters.

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Boybands have been around for ages. For my generation (when I was 8 more or less) it was Backstreet Boys and 'NSync. What are some boy bands you enjoy listening to (whether they trigger the nostalgia feels or they're the hottest thing on the planet)? Maybe boy bands aren't your thing but what's your favourite musical group?

You know the drill by know. Comments are greatly appreciated and useful. 

Song featured: "Just Another Boyband" by The Midnight Beast (song contains strong language)

edited: 04/24/2021