Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor)

3.0 Two Inches Too High

If you made it this far that's awesome! Anyway, dedicating this episode to Scott Butcher (ScottButcher). For a while he had a humorous story about a witch who had to save the world. He does have stuff on here so feel free to take a peek. 

Never invite a vampire or else something bad will happen. It leaves the host and whoever is with them powerless to defend themselves. Vampires can't step on hallowed ground. Hiding inside a church will protect you.

BULL-FUCKING-SHIT!

The only reason I can't enter certain places has to do with barriers. Yes, I've done some breaking and entering in the past and looted from a church's weekly collection. Also, public places allow anyone and anything to pass through. I can go to the mall, I attend university part-time—Hell, I even work at the university. But sometimes public places can have barriers. A priest, or any person who acts like a cleric, may not know they're a witch. Whenever they say prayers or conduct rituals, they erect them claiming some deity provided protection.

Now with Talia, she's a witch who specializes in potions. It's one of the reasons she, along with the Bartender, operate the bar. Any witch, no matter their specialty, can do a basic barrier spell. The one around the Tavern makes sure those she banned from the place, human or not, don't enter. But Talia isn't the focus here. The man on the stage is.

Tonight's an open mic night for witches only not all acts use the mic. Basically, witches show off any new tricks and spells they've penned provided there are no casualties. James Walton, whom I learned is an old friend of Carmen's, is performing some sort of puppet show. The spells he's invoking moved what appeared to be three Barbie Dolls and a Rubik's Cube. The crowd is finding it child's play and boo him off the stage.

"Oh come on! Yer all just fuckin' trolls coz a legless witch can even do magic." He flips the audience the bird and waddles over to the bar.

Witches aren't too kind to one of their own if they lose a leg. Something along the lines of making connections to the Earth I believe. James is a double amputee which gives him twice as much flack for it even if he wears prosthetics. How he lost his legs is a whole other story. If there's a lesson to learn from the one I'm about to tell you, it's to make sure you take proper measurements.

"Talia," James says as he slaps the bar, "have ye got something to take my mind off these faggots?"

"Watch your language," Talia cautions him. The drink she is pouring stops mid pour.

"But the politically correct wolf bitch ain't here."

"Just because she's in the washroom doesn't make here not here." She turns to the Bartender and orders, "Zavari dom kokteil'." The drink resumes pouring.

"Da konnechno!" the Bartender yells from the other side. Within seconds he comes up to James with a fluorescent purple, frothy concoction. "Pozhaluista," he says after placing the mug down.

"Thanks mate." James picks up the mug and chugs down what's known as the house special. Just after reaching the bottom he places the mug down missing the coaster. But that's not the only thing to hit the bar.

"Potions master. Fuck." And within seconds it became bedtime for James.

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Talia's in-house special cocktail is always served to first timers at the tavern or as a practical joke. Anyone who can drink it without passing out from the first sip has their bar tab covered for the night. Interactive question time: what's your favourite mixed drink? It doesn't have to be alcoholic. It could be something simple as mixing coke/pepsi and root beer. Enjoy what you see? Vote, comment, share, add, yadda yadda

Fun language notes: Talia orders the bartender to make the house cocktail (more literal translation is "mix the company cocktail"). Bartender responds "of course!" (Da doesn't always mean yes in Russian, especially when you encounter something like da nyet!). Pozhaluista not only means "please" or "you're welcome" but it's more like "here you go" in this sense, especially when you're served a drink. I've had some Russians check my dialogue but if there are others who want to check this feel free to look it over.

Song featured: "Strange Brew" by Cream

edited: 15/01/2018
                04/12/2017