Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor)

8.5 Trick Or Treating

Hallowe'en had arrived and there I was at the community centre in costume. Who would've thought dozens of kids and their families showed up to this thing? And guess who ended up in charge of refreshments? While I didn't make the fruit punch, I took a swig, and it was sour as fuck. You'd think the other planners would've brought orange sugar soda, but everything had to be free of artificial ingredients, added sugars, and allergens, so sayeth Goddess of All Things Organic. Even though no one wanted punch, I had to stand there in case someone did.

What made the night better was Tino arriving in his vampire costume. Instead of wearing a bedsheet for a cape and poorly applying lipstick and foundation, he had on a proper costume. Okay, it was a little cheesy going with the Bela Lugosi Count Dracula-type, but he seemed happy. The minute he arrived he spotted his friends from karate class and joined up with them in playing "guess the body part". Not sure how a squished tomato was close to scrambled brains. If it were up to me, I'd use an actual brain from a cow or sheep. Goddess of All Things Organic was also vegan. No further explanation needed.

Tino wasn't the only one in his family who showed up in costume. Dad was Homer Simpson, Mom was Marge, and Jovi was Bart with Gabi as Lisa. I didn't recognize them at first, but once the parents came up to my table, they recognized me in an instant. It had to be the freckles.

"Lena, is it?" Louisa asked the moment she and her husband approached.

"I'm supposed to be Buffy the Vampire the Slayer." Once I figured out they weren't asking for my costume, I answered, "You're Tino's parents, right?"

"Yes," the mom said while grabbing an empty cup. "We want to thank you. We thought our son's obsession with vampires had to do with him wanting to be one. Once he explained to us he wanted to dress up for Hallowe'en to be on the qui vivre, we realized we were wrong about him."

"He gave us a great idea, and we joined in," Antonio added. "It's refreshing to go someplace where I need not bring a weapon."

"So, you're not concerned that vampires will show up to this event?"

"Of course we are concerned! We're not the only vampire hunters in the area. You're keeping an eye out for them too."

I guess I was quite convincing that I was one of them, but eventually they'll find out I lied to them. There never was an experiment, top secret or not, involving hunters genetically manipulated for tricking vampires. The part about hunters working alongside vampires was true, especially getting rival clans or individuals taken down, a fact that neither of us are aware of who was manipulating who.

"Who says we need to have knives and guns with us to kill vampires?" Louisa scooped the punch into her cup and took a sip. "We could take them out with this. It could use more sweetener."

"I'll take your word for it."

And so the vampire-slaying family went on to enjoy the rest of the party, as much as Jovi and Gabi were bored with it. Tino, however, was having the time of his — he's young, so he hasn't had much of a life. Eventually, he'll notice changes with himself. No, I'm not talking about balls-dropping and hair growing out of places changes, but more of an awareness. He'll be stronger, faster, and he won't need to work out at the gym every week. He'll know supernaturals are out there hiding within the skins of humans, and his single goal in life will be to liberate them. Sure he carries sympathies for vampires, but when he reaches that stage, he'll forget it all. The indoctrination is strong with this family and it will greatly influence him. Believe me, a similar thing happens with newbie vampires.

Just as I was about to resign for the night supervising the hall of screaming kids, I got a phone call from Carmen. I entered an empty office to take it.

"Lena, leave that sore excuse for a party and come over to Talia's."

"And why should I trade one screaming headache for another?"

"Because this party is more your thing. It's quiet and no screaming brats. Also, Talia made this concoction that makes you feel you've been trippin' balls for hours even though the effects last like fifteen minutes. Apparently it's a recipe adapted from something her grandmother makes."

Sold! After passing off the responsibilities of guarding the sour gummy in liquid form to someone else, I hightailed out of there. As soon as I arrived, the Taverna was filled with ghosts and spirits. Because Carmen could neither see nor hear them, she assumed it was quiet. Still a better scene than the community centre.

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So what's worse: watching over a party with screaming kids, or attending one with drunken ghosts?

Next episode I'd say it one of my favourites to come up with (next to episode 7). If you've been waiting for the boy band episode then it's gonna be that.

You know the drill by now. Enjoy it or not let me know :)

Song featured: "Bucovina (Radio Mix)" by Ian Oliver feat. Shantel. Probably should go with more Hallowe'en appropriate.

Edited: 03/02/2021