The One Thing I Never Expected | Ryden | By Ericasaur on LiveJournal

Chapter Thirteen

"What do you mean?" I whisper against Ryan's hair. His face is buried in my neck. He's still sobbing and shaking. My mom is covering her mouth with her hand, the beginnings of tears starting to form in her eyes.

            "She's d-dead. She's gone, Brendon," he sobs. His grip on my shirt tightens.

            "What happened?" I hear my mom ask. Her voice sounds shaky.

            "I-I don't know. I just," he pauses to take a deep breath, but his voice is still shaky. "I walked in, and...and she was just on the floor next to the door. She wasn't breathing, and she didn't have a p-pulse," he chokes out, the tears still flowing. "I called an ambulance, but I couldn't stay there, I. I needed you, Bren, I'm sorry," he sobs. I just hold him tighter.

            "No, no, why are you sorry? It's okay, shh," I mumble soothingly. "It's okay. It's gonna be alright, I'm here." I keep repeating calming words in his ear, rocking him back and forth. He's just slumped against me on the couch.

            "I'm going to go to your house to wait for the ambulance, alright honey? You just stay here with Brendon," my mom says calmly, but I know she's just trying to stay composed for Ryan's sake. She looks like she's close to breaking down any second now, and she probably will the minute she's out of sight. I just nod and pull Ryan into my lap. My mom runs out and I hear the car start a second later, just as I start to hear sirens in the distance.

            "I was such a horrible son to her, and now she's gone," Ryan whimpers. I pull back to look at him incredulously.

            "What are you talking about? You were never anything but perfect to your mom."

            "No," he shakes his head. "I never spent time with her. I hardly ever even stayed at home. I took so much for granted. I spent every second I had with you, and I love you, you know that, but I should have spent more time with her."

            "Ryan, no. Okay, do you remember that time your mom took us to Disney World? And she took a thousand pictures? And then she said that she would take us on a trip every year from then on. And she did. We went to the zoo, the aquarium, the circus, all kinds of places. And then you started staying at my house all the time. You said the same thing before, remember? You said you felt bad for not seeing your mom as much, and then you threw her a surprise party for her birthday and told her you were sorry for not being around, and she was so happy. She cried. She told you that she loved you and that she wanted you to be happy. She said that she was the one who felt bad for taking on extra shifts at work, and you both just had a big cry-fest," I laugh a little, and I see a small smile form on his lips. "She loved you, Ryan," I finish with a sad smile.

            "Brendon, what am I supposed to do now? What do I do?" he cries.

            "Shh, don't worry about that right now. We'll deal with everything later," I kiss him on the forehead and rub circles into his back.

            "I don't have a family anymore. She was all I had left. I'm all alone," he says sadly as fresh tears fall down his face.

            "Of course you have a family. Mom and I, we've always been your family. You've never been alone." I wipe the tears from his face and smooth his hair back. "You'll always have me, baby." He buries his head in my chest and continues to cry.

            "Come on, let's get you to bed. You need to sleep," I say quietly. He just nods and lets me lead him upstairs and to my room. I guide him over to the bed and crawl in next to him. "Just sleep, okay?" I whisper. I wrap my arms around him from behind him and place a kiss on his neck. He puts his hand over mine and laces our fingers together. I listen to him cry for a few minutes, muttering soothing words, until I finally hear his breathing even out. Carefully, I untangle myself from him and go back downstairs.