The One Thing I Never Expected | Ryden | By Ericasaur on LiveJournal

Chapter Nineteen

Smut Warning

            After we got back from getting ice cream, everything was really awkward. We walked into the living room to see it half empty. Most of my family had left. But I was surprised that anyone stayed at all. Sitting there was Aiden, my grandma, my mom's brother Nick and his wife and two daughters, and Mark. I didn't see Kate anywhere, though.

            Now we're all just sort of sitting here, avoiding eye contact.

            "Did you have fun, Milly?" Mark asks, breaking the silence.

            "Yeah!" she says excitedly. "Ryan is really funny."

            "That's good, sweetie," he says tiredly. Milly's eyes dart around a bit before she frowns.

            "Where's Mom?"

            "Your mom decided to go home early. I told her we were going to stay until Saturday, like we planned."

            "Brendon," I hear Aiden say. I look over at him and he's gazing at me cautiously. "Are you alright?"

            "No," I say honestly, standing up. "No, I'm not. My entire family hates me now because of the way I was born."

            "We don't hate you, sweetie," my grandma says softly, and I am so not in the mood for this shit.

            "Why are you even still here?" I snap at her, and she reels back, looking affronted.

            "Brendon, I've thought about this while you were gone, and- and even though I most certainly don't believe in it, I suppose I could learn to bear it. I don't want to stop having anything to do with my grandson," she reasons. She can learn to bear it? I scoff at her, shaking my head.

            "I can't believe you. You either accept me or you don't, Grandma. You don't bear it. I'd rather not have you around at all than have you around silently judging me," I say, trying to keep my voice unwavering.

            "I'm trying the best I can here, Brendon. It's my religion. I live by these rules, and it's wrong for me to even think about ignoring this. But I can't just cut you out like Kate."

            "Fine. You think you can just ignore it? Can you ignore this?" I swiftly put my hands on either of Ryan's cheeks and plant a sloppy kiss on his lips, hearing a quick intake of breath from my grandma. I pull back and whip around to face her again. "Because that is me. I'm not going to change for you, ever. I will always be this way. Ryan is my boyfriend and I love him. I'm going to kiss him, I'm going to touch him, and I'm probably going to be with him forever! I'm not going to pretend to be someone else around you and you are not going to take this from me!" I yell, my voice breaking on the last word and my eyes hot with tears. My chest is heaving from getting so worked up, and my grandma is speechless.

            "Brendon...I-"

            "You're never going to accept me, and we both know that," I say hoarsely. She hangs her head, not protesting. "I love you, Grandma. But you might as well stop pretending that you'll ever be okay with this. All of you." I look around to see everyone either staring at me or averting their gazes awkwardly. "I'm going to bed," I announce, heading for the stairs with Ryan following me.

            I feel like a floodgate has been opened, and all of these feelings are just rushing out at once. I never thought I'd say those words to my grandma, or to anyone. But I couldn't control it. The words just came out. It's like I wasn't even in control of myself.

            "Are you okay?" Ryan asks quietly once he shuts the bedroom door behind us.

            "What do you think?" I demand, turning to face him. He recoils at the harsh words, looking a little hurt and I instantly feel bad. I never want to take my anger out on him. None of this is his fault.