Once a player...

Can things get worse? Probably not.

PLAY MUSIC^^^

❣️Naomi's pov❣️

I zipped up the zipper on the back of my black dress slowly

These last four days have been the hardest days of my whole life.

It's should have been me.

She didn't deserve it.

I did. I deserve all the pain in the world.

At least that's what Kai tells me.

I guess I've started to believe him...

I looked in the mirror at my reflection

We look so similar. Or should I say looked.

I can't put on makeup today because I know it will come right off with all the crying I'm going to do...

I looked in the mirror again and for the first time since Mika's death I felt anger bubbling up inside me

With one last look at myself I pulled my fist back and swung at the mirror.

With a big crash it shattered into millions of pieces all over my carpet.

And I fell to my knees

I heard my door open and Corey came running in

"Naomi..." Corey said obviously not able to come up with anything else to say.

"Please leave me alone..." I said with my head turned away from him still sitting in the pile of glass

"Okay, but we have to leave soon." Corey whispered

"I know." I said shakily

He quietly closed my door and I looked down at the glass

"I'm worthless. I should have been the one in that fire... not you." I said

For the past four days I've been talking to my sister. I know she may not be able to hear me but that's okay. It helps me cope.

I stared at the glass again and picked up the sharpest piece of glass I could find.

I turned it over in my palm then I sighed

With tears forming in my eyes I lifted up the skirt of my dress and made a few small incisions on my leg. They quickly drew blood. I winced at the stinging but I knew I deserved it. I pulled the skirt of the dress down again and stood up again.

Then I walked into the kitchen

I saw Corey very confused trying to tie his tie.
I walked up to him and took it out of his hands then I tied it slowly for him.

"Thank you." He said politely

"Lets go." I said almost at a whisper

Four hours later💞

I placed a pink rose on the top of her grey casket. Pink and grey were her favorite colors.
In the church I got to see her one last time. Seeing her skin covered from head to toe in makeup was heartbreaking. You could see the inflamed skin through the makeup so it didn't make much of a difference. I brought my baby blanket with me so she could remember me by something... I know that sounds silly. But it was something I wanted to do. She loved my baby blanket.

"Here Mik." I said to her lifeless body

I gently placed the blanket on top of her  and tucked it around her small frail figure. I took her cold hand in mine and started to cry.

"Wherever you are now I just want you to know me, mom, and dad love and miss you."
I set her hand down and backed up slowly

Now her grey casket was being lowered into the ground soon to be covered by dark dirt.

We chose to bury her next to my grandpa and grandma. In a large cemetery in the country .

After she was buried I looked at the three graves of theirs

I felt tears streaming down my face

I sat by their graves for about a half an hour before we had to leave.

I kissed my hand and touched each one of their graves.

"I love you guys." I whispered and Corey wrapped his arm around my waist.

"And I love you too." Corey mumbled quietly.