Paper Bride ✔️ (Book 4 - DP Series - COMPLETE)

47. Unforgettable

"Be careful," I murmur, eyes blazing with worry.

He doesn't argue, but instead just nods once and disappears into the shadows. I just sit there, gazing into the darkness as the minutes tick by. I'm waiting for something, and I'm not even sure what it is, but when a cry of agony suddenly slithers down the hallway, I'm racing for our bedroom before I can even think twice.

This is just a game.

Just a game.

A game.

I chant these words over and over as my feet carry me down the hall and through the door to our room. The moment I enter, I'm hit with the blatant horror of silence. It's so real. The quiet is so eery and wretched that I fear for what my eyes will find.

And then a hand is sliding up my side as my body is pulled tight to a hard abdomen. Shivers erupt along my flesh when the hand returns to my waist again, only this time it bypasses my shirt to skim the naked skin of my stomach.

My head is spinning. The sensations whirling beneath my chest are battling each other for attention. I can't tell if I'm trembling in fear or with desire. Either way, I don't push the hands away... because I know these hands.

They're rough but tender, strong but careful, eager yet patient.

I lean my head back on Seth's muscular chest as his lips trail kisses down the side of my neck. Warmth chases each of his kisses, leaving pools of heat in their wake. My body is on fire, but I'm still reluctant about deepening the moment.

Why am I hesitating?

The moment the thought enters my mind, I have an answer.

This can't happen right now because I can't stand the thought of it not meaning something to Seth. Clearly, he cares for me, but does he care enough to enjoy this kind of physical interaction in the same way that I will?

"I can't do this," I mutter into the desire-filled air around us.

"What?" he says, pulling his lips from my neck and turning me to face him. "Why?"

I don't answer. I can't answer. I'm not even sure what I'm thinking right now, or why I feel the need to pull away. I guess it comes down to the fact that I want to feel wanted in every way possible when the time does happen. My heart wants to feel wanted, and right now, it doesn't. Sure, my body feels desired, but my heart feels abandoned, and it's more painful than pleasurable to think about pursuing intimacy with someone who doesn't return your affection.

"I know you want this," he says, his voice soft—tender. He strokes my cheek with his thumb and then tilts my chin up to get a better look at my face.

"Of course, I want this," I admit, "but you once said you didn't want to use me, and now I understand why." I pull my chin away from his grasp and look down at the floor between our feet. "It hurts to know that I have entirely different reasons for wanting this than you do."

"What does that mean?" he questions, his voice hard—almost angry.

I don't respond right away, and as the seconds tick by, I grow less and less sure of myself. Part of me just wants to give in, but another part of me feels like we're so close to making this real and I'm not ready to give in prematurely.

"Why have you been treating me so well?" I abruptly ask, almost confusing myself with the question. "Why do you insist on doting on me when you feel nothing?"

"Because I do feel something," he argues. "I care about you, Mercy. Can you really not see that?"

"That's not the point!" I shoot back, my voice stern, anger edging its way into my blood. "I can see that you care. That's obvious. What doesn't make sense is the fact that you're so good to me. You treat me like any wife would want to be treated. You act like you love me, but you refuse to say it."

"I'm not acting," he says, gripping my shoulders gently as he forces me to focus on his words. "I'd never pretend to care about you. That would have no purpose whatsoever. I genuinely care about you. I want to be with you. I want our marriage to grow and become even more beautiful. I want us to need each other and crave each other."

"How can you say things like that?"

"Say things like what?" He's clearly getting frustrated now, his voice tense. His hands fly away from my shoulders as he flings them to the side in exasperation.

"How can you say that you want all those things, and not love me!" There are tears in my voice, but I refuse to let them crawl to my tear ducts. I just keep swallowing, hoping they'll retreat, but they don't.

"Mercy!" Seth's voice is angry, and I can sense that he's trying to control himself as he clenches his fingers into his palms.

"Just tell me," I shout back, tired of not knowing where his head's at. I'm tired of not understanding his lack of feelings towards me. "Why don't you love me?"

"I do love you!"

The lights flicker back on, and I'm frozen in place. Our bedroom light isn't on, but there's enough light pouring in from the hallway for me to see Seth's reaction to his own words. I can see everything clearly written into the lines of his face as he stares back at me. There's shock blazing in his eyes and anger sown into his tight shoulders, but there's something else in his expression that I never thought I'd see again.

"I do love you," he says softly, his face morphing from fury to yearning within seconds. "I've never stopped, and I never plan to."

And then he's kicking the door shut as he picks me up by the waist and slides my body over the comforter of our bed.

If I thought this was going to be an unforgettable memory before, then Seth does a sensational job of ensuring that it will now be the most unforgettable night of my life.