Paper Bride ✔️ (Book 4 - DP Series - COMPLETE)

26. I'm Dying

Seth just stares at the floor, apologies written into the crinkles around his eyes. He hates that he just said that. He regretted it the moment the words left his mouth; I can tell. And I'm not helping matters any because I have yet to respond. I'm just gaping at him like an owl on a caffeine high.

I carefully set my paddle on the table, our ping pong game, forgotten. With careful movements, I step around the piece of gaming furniture and approach Seth as if he's some kind of wild animal. I don't wanna spook him into retreating. He's letting down his defenses for once and I'm not about to jeopardize this moment by scaring him back into hiding.

"Seth," I murmur softly, pulling his rueful eyes away from his feet and up towards me.

"I'm sorry," he says, taking a relaxed step in my direction. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"No," I argue. "What you should have done was say something sooner."

I watch him for a moment, taking in his rigid shoulders and firmly set jaw. He seems to be reading my expression with as much vigor as I am his, but then he swings his gaze away and shoves his hands into his pockets. I'm hoping this isn't a sign that he's clamming up again. I need him to speak...

And then he does.

"He's always there," he confesses. "Whenever I come home, or find the nerve to ask you out, he's always there. I can't seem to get rid of the guy. He irks me like none other. That stupid smile of his, and the way he always grooms himself to perfection. I hate that he has so expertly maneuvered his way between us."

"What are you talking about?" I finally ask. Sure, I've noticed he's been intruding on my life more often than usual, but I never thought it was a problem. Truthfully, I'd begun to find him to be a nuisance.

"The guy's in love with you, Merc," Seth says with an exasperated release of tension from his lips. He scrubs his hands through his hair in agitation. "I've watched how he watches you. I watch your phone chirp with texts and calls from him. It's constant. The guy won't leave you alone."

"That doesn't mean he loves me," I say, but my words are weak. Because I can't actually find anything that would make a good argument against Seth. Everything he's said so far has been true.

"Please," Seth begins to say, his words careful, almost pleading. "Please just tell me there's nothing going on between you two."

I visibly recoil at the thought. I'm so shocked that I'm back to caffeinated-owl mode, and all I can do is stare at Seth with large eyes. He can't possibly be serious? All this time that I'd been doubting him, he'd been having the same thoughts about me. It's preposterous. I'm as faithful as a hammer. Always there when you need me. Always ready to fight to demolish the decay and ugliness. Unbreakable. Unstoppable. Unafraid.

And yet, somehow I haven't been doing my job right if Seth has even an inkling of suspicion about my fidelity.

"Listen," I finally say when I'm able to find my voice. "I'm sorry that I've caused any doubts in you. Apparently, neither one of us has been doing things right these days."

I push a strand of hair behind my ear and take a step forward, pulling one of Seth's hands from his pocket and sliding my fingers over his. He glances down at where our fingers touch, his expression curious and wary all at the same time. This admission has really been bothering him for some time apparently.

He doesn't return my gaze for a while, but just continues to watch as I rub small circles across the top of his hand. He isn't pulling away, but he's also not responding. He just lets me do as I wish, his fingers limp and unmoving, and finally I can't take it anymore. I slide my fingers between his and step forward, merely a couple of inches remain between us.