Living With Boys

Chapter Ten: Hallucinated

Chapter Ten: "Hallucinated."

"WHY IS she not eating?" One of them whispers not very quietly.

I'm the only one still at the dinner table, tossing and turning my food around. I've barely managed to have three bites of everything that was on my plate, and to say that the boys staring at me and Ella looking at me worriedly didn't help me eat quicker.

"She needs time to adjust." Ella snaps, "Leave her be. She won't eat if you keep staring at her like a hawk."

"Actually, may I be excused?" I speak up. "I'm not very hungry."

"But you've barely eaten anything," The same boy speaks up. It's not Landon or Louis, but he's younger so I have no idea who it is. "And mom makes the best food around!"

"I was never hungry to begin with." I answer as nicely as I can, but my voice spits it out instead. Some things never die; in my case it's my harsh tone when I don't mean to use it.

"Um, yes, I guess." Ella sighs. "How are you liking your new room? Is it alright? Big enough?"

Is that some way of her asking me if it was big enough to suit my needs because I came from LA? Is that some stereotypical thing that because I live where you can oftenly run into celebrities while you're out tampon shopping means that I live in luxury?

I'm probably just overreacting. I've become very cranky over the past ten minutes since I started getting weird looks from everyone who moved from the kitchen to the living room in silence.

"It's fine." I answer. "Thanks. Dinner was good, Ella."

"You have got to be kidding, right? What would she know, mom? She barely touched her plate!" I turn to the source to glare at them, and I feel slightly disappointed when I see that that source was Landon. Guess friendship isn't starting anytime soon.

The fork clatters on my plate as it gets dropped out of my hand unconsciously, and I stand up, ignoring the pricks that start to form in my eyes. If only the idiot realized or even asked why I didn't touch anything. I walk up to where I think I came down from, and don't look back as the tears start falling and splashing onto the hardwood flooring beneath my feet as I speed my way up the stairs.

I'm already sobbing grossly once I'm in my room, and I make my way to the bathroom. I immediately stop in my tracks as I look down at the floor and see a scale beside the toilet, and turn around, closing the door. I start wheezing by the time I make it to the window closest to me. I throw open the balcony doors and close them behind me. The sun has already begun setting, and as much as I used to watch the sunset on the beaches back in Los Angeles and have it calm me down, this one isn't working any wonders for me.

I immediately grab my phone, unable to control myself as I dial the number.

I get voicemail.

"Hey. . ." I whisper, gasping for a breath. "I know we talked not too long ago but I really need you right now. . . I haven't even been here half a day and I already want to go home. Please answer or call me back. I really need you."

I end the call and toss my phone on the bed, but I miss miserably and it clanks loudly against the floor. I ignore it as I continue to cry harder as I think of how I ended up in the position I am in now. Last year was the biggest reason for why my health is basically shit, but adding to that was the bullying Stacy put me through, and adding onto that as well, was what Emily, Bethany, and Cathy did to me once they found out I was apparently doing shit behind their back.

I don't understand why I suddenly have a hard life. I mean, before I was fifteen, life was perfect in my eyes. My relationship with my mother wasn't good, but I didn't care. I had my dad, and my friends. I didn't have any bullies, and I didn't have enemies. Everyone liked me, and for some reason, after that one, horrid night, everything went downhill from there. I ended up in prison for false convictions, and I was body-shammed; hardcore body-shammed. I wasn't given it easy, and I was having horrible dreams. Nightmares that were so strong, I needed comfort at night. I needed sleeping medication because I had chronic insomnia. It's not as bad now, but I still have many sleepless nights a week.