Chapter Thirty-Five (Part II): I Totally Jinxed Myself-Landon's POV

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I'm adding this chapter since it's a part II addition to the past one. This chapter can be skipped, but it's recommended you read it! :)

Chapter Thirty-Five: "I Totally Jinxed Myself."

Part II (Landon's POV)

WHEN WE ARRIVED at the hospital, my emotions were running wild when she was immediately wheeled into surgery.

I mean, obviously I should have suspected it could have been her appendix when she complained of stomach pain, but then that thought was pushed to the back of my mind when she said it was probably just her period. I should have just made her to go the emergency room or walk-in clinic anyway, just to be safe. If it was just stomach pain, then we'd have that confirmation that there shouldn't be much to worry about unless she was vomiting more than 24 hours, and at that point she hadn't been sick at all.

I wanted to drive her in when she hit 105°F and she had been vomiting for two days straight.

I should have gone with my gut.

She may die from this, all because of me. I didn't see the signs, I let her have her way, and I chose her over her health.

Now she's in surgery, fighting for her life when there's God knows how many different types of bacteria floating in her body where they shouldn't be.

They still haven't found a sole purpose for the appendix, just that it stored dangerous toxins the body produces and has inserted, and that people can live without it.

I, however, think the whole damn purpose of that tiny little organ is to try and kill people who don't see it coming and don't catch it early enough. It's like the flu or cold back in the 1800s. It could kill you easily and you wouldn't even see it coming.

I don't want to see that happen with Blue.

She's such a fragile soul, and has been through so much in her life. I know there's more she's not telling me, but that's okay. I don't expect her to, since I have secrets of my own that she doesn't know, but we're taking it one step at a time. She told me why she takes her appetite suppressants, which was a pretty big deal for not only her, but me. It shows she trusts me, and that's what I want. I don't want Blue to feel like she can't trust anyone she comes across, because that's the impression I'm getting: she's blocking herself from the world because she doesn't want them to know who she is.

Something happened to her to make her like this, and I'll figure it out. If that means sharing my past then so be it, but I want to know why she's so scared to let people in. I want to know what drove her over the edge to need antidepressants and therapy. I've overheard her on the phone before and she's been in therapy for years for apparently the same thing she's going to this doctor for, and I want to know what that is.

The curiosity is killing me, but what's killing me more is the fact she's been in surgery for three and a half hours already and she's not come out yet.

"She's going to be okay, man." Liam tells me, nudging my shoulder with his. He came about an hour after I left in the ambulance with Brooklyn. He said he was going to call mom and dad and tell them what was going on, and grab some dinner for us, since the hospital cafeteria food is shit.

"Someone should have come out already with an update." I snap. "Why haven't they?"

"Dude, she burst her appendix." He deadpans. "That shit takes time. Chill out." He never was a very affectionate person or one for being supportive in bad times. He was better and wasn't as bad when our sister died, but it's like since then he's always been a dick and had a hard face and that 'I-don't-care-about-anyone-or-anything' look. But he's gotten really protective of our family and is nice when he wants to be.

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