Marriage, In Name Only? part two

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Marriage, In Name Only?

Part two

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I put on the clothes he handed me. I went into the kitchen and looked in the fridge and pulled out things to make for breakfast. I felt worse then I did before. I was going to commit a great sin and I was going to do it in his house too. I had spent several years in a church orphanage so I knew it was bad to commit suicide. But I was going to do it.

I made some pancakes and bacon with coffee. I made him a plate and my self one. When he came into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I poured us some coffee and sat down at the table across from him. We didn't say anything to each other for awhile. Just ate our food and drank the coffee quietly.

" So are you going to talk to me about this?" He asked me.

" I don't know what to say to you." I replied.

" Why? Why do you think you have nothing to live for?" He asked.

" I have no family and I will never be able to get married. I don't think I could have some one touch me like that again. I wanted to save my self for marriage. I have nothing to offer but myself. So if I stayed a virgin it would be my gift to him. But now that I am not and being scared to even to do that again. "

" You can still get married and have children. Just because your not ,you know, does not mean that you cant get married. Most women don't wait for marriage any way. And you will heal."

" I might heal in certain areas. But my mind will never forget. How can I think about having some one touch me when all I see is them!" She cried out tears falling down her checks. " Who would want to marry me now? I am plain looking just another shadow out of millions of others."

" I would." I said jumping to my feet to stand in front of her. Shit why did I just say that. I am not looking for a wife.

" You would?" She said with a look of hope or was it disbelief in her eyes.

" Yeah I would. And at least with me you're not afraid. I would not ask you to do anything against your will. But you would have to know that I am going back into the Air Force. It would be for another two years so I understand if you don't want to. You could live here and take care of the house for me. I would be gone for a long time." Why was I talking her into it. I didn't want to get married. I couldn't even tell what she really looked like. We heard a knock on the door and I went to answer it.

" Hello Dr. Casio what can I do for you? Come in."

" I wanted to see how Carla is doing and I brought her some clothes from a donation at the hospital. They should fit her."

" Sure she's in the kitchen." She followed me into the kitchen where Carla was.

" Hi Carla. How are you doing?" Dr. Casio asked her.

" I'm ok. Would you like some coffee?" Carla asked her.

" Sure that would be nice. I brought you some clothes that I think might fit you."

As Carla poured her some coffee there was another knock at the door. I went to get it and found the sheriff out side with some bags in his hands.

" Let me guess you have clothes too?" I asked him.

" How did you guess? And who's car is out front there?"

" Is the doctor's car. She also brought some clothes for Carla." I said helping him bring in the bags. I had him follow me into the bedroom where she was sleeping at and put them on the bed.

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