Lady Samurai

Chapter 17

She lay down, but couldn't sleep. The memories, which she had learned to lock inside her, were resurfacing now and demanded her full attention. But she couldn't let them rise. They would assault her and cripple her with grief. Since she could remember, her only defence was to forget. If she let them out now, she will never manage to stop the pain!

She needed to somehow regain control. She requested saké and the bottle arrived promptly. In the past alcohol used to help. But not this time...

If she could only jump in a saddle again and gallop into the night, the wind and the physical exhaustion would calm her and expel her sadness...

After the whole bottle of saké and a restless night, Anna felt she was suffocating in her room. She needed to get out! Barefoot and wearing only her thin sleeping kimono, she snuck out, hoping that the freshness of the sunrise will calm her.

For some time she wandered around the gardens, distinctly feeling the eyes of the hidden guards following her. But she didn't care.

Her memories flooded her and there was nothing she could do to stop them. The memories of her father, who died, saving her life; of her mother, who died of a broken heart; of the people who raised her, risking their own lives; of her uncle...

Hot tears ran down her cheeks. She had never cried for herself and now she was unable to stop it. Sobbing miserably, she tried to find some secluded spot, where she could burrow like an animal and suffer without any witnesses.

But, unexpectedly, she came across Lord Takeda. He was practicing with his katana. His chest was bare and he was wearing only his hakama trousers.

He was very surprised to see her there, at this early hour. With shock he took in her appearance: her flushed face, dishevelled kimono and tears streaming from her eyes. He sheathed his sword and came closer.

In this first moment he assumed that someone had assaulted her, but dismissed that thought immediately. Nobody from his household would have dared lift a hand against his personal guest. When he came even closer, he smelt alcohol and saw the unbearable pain in her eyes. He understood that she needed his help.

Without a word he came very close and enveloped her in his strong arms. She rested her burning forehead on his muscular chest and tried to suppress her sobs. His body was warm and smelled fresh. It also smelled of something else, something familiar, something half-forgotten from her childhood, but she couldn't identify it now. And although her reason told her to leave, she submitted to his strength and calm dignity. She let him enfold her in his arms and gently stroke her back. He didn't ask for reasons. He was just there for her.

For the first time in her adult life she felt absolutely safe and secure...

When her sobs gradually subsided and the tears stopped flowing, he stepped back a little and only with a tip of his finger he wiped the last traces of sadness from her face. Her skin was so delicate and soft. And her striking eyes shone through the tears, like two precious sapphire stones.

His touch had such a sensual power that her heart skipped a beat, then started pounding in her chest and she felt fluttering in her stomach.

When she raised her eyes to him, he noticed a fire burning behind the sadness. He leaned a little and very gently kissed her. Her body reacted immediately, pressing into his and he felt the heat rising in her.