HIS SECRET PRINCESS

Chapter 36

I closed my eyes not wanting to think about the text message but my phone buzzed again, I looked at it, it was a reminder that I had one unread message. I took a deep breath and sat up to look at what it read and clear my mind I had to face this Im coming over -H.

There were going to be so many questions of he came over, about my phone call, about how I felt about him and my mind was fuzzy from all the alcohol, moreover, I couldnt think right now. I couldnt think of having Harry in my life and then dragging him into the mess I am in, I have been saying this since day one that I met him, but he only keeps getting drawn closer and closer to me, how much ever I try to push him away he is back like my own personal boomerang, always there to make sure nothing went wrong with me, even when I pushed him away.

Did I want this? Who am I kidding? As much as I deny it I know I have fallen for this curly hair lad, but do I want to drag him into the mess I am in. He doesnt even know my real name for crying out loud. He doesnt know my reality, he doesnt need to be in this mess, but the more I make him understand the more he wants to be there. I have to talk to Callum, I have to before I say anything to Harry. I heard a little hustle outside. Haz I heard someone say more like Louis.

Boy, he was here and I had no answers for him or myself. I braced myself for his entry for his questions that I had no answers to. What was I gonna say to him? Should I even consider telling him the truth? Would he accept me for who I am? Would he understand why I am lying? I was so engrossed with my fuzzy mind that I didnt even realise there was a knock on my door. I let out a breath not knowing for how long I was holding it. I wasnt prepared for this but it had to be done. I looked at the door as it slowly creaked and he entered in. The light from the corridor gleaming around his silhouette. I took a deep breath as I seem him close the door and approach me. I dont know if he had noticed I was up and watching his every move, he came over to the bed and smiled at me, my fuzzy intoxicated head wanted me to forget everything and just hug him and tell him everything but a big part of me was telling me otherwise. I was too scared to move or say anything. I waited for him to make the first move and so he did, he moved in a little closer and moved the few stray strands of hair that were falling over my face. He swiped his thumb over my cheek and moved his palm under my chin gently moving my head up to face him. I looked at him, the only light in the room was beaming through the bottom of the door, just enough for me to see his face. My hand automatically moved to touch his face surprising me. I was musting up the courage to say something when he silenced me as if he could sense my u certainty.

like I said earlier love, I am going nowhere so stop pushing me, take as much time as you need, but stop pushing me away, I am here to stay whatever It is, I am here even if the boys leave, I am not going to, you have to believe me when I say that,I dont want to be out there with Kendall,I want to be in here with you, I dont care if it takes whatever to be with you, Ive bever felt this way about anyone before and I am ready to explore and see what I do and you pushing me away doesnt help a lot he kept on talking and I didnt know what to say I was lost for words today, I would be swooned in, in any other circumstance if someone had to plead their love for me that way harry was doing it but I didnt want to be selfish, I can't do this , I can't bring myself to say yes to this.

Tears streaming down my cheek, my breath hitching, I had so much to say to him, but I couldnt muscle up the courage, instead I went with my heart and ignored my mind and literally pounced him into a hug sobbing like a child who broke a toy I am sorry, I am sorry I am gonna be selfish and drag you into this, when you dont deserve one bit of this, but I can't cover my feelings and I can't help but deny I may feel the same as you do, but I'm not ready just yet, not with my given situation and I know there is a possibility that you may hate me somewhere down the line but I can't be bothered to think about that either, for now, I just want to be selfish and keep you for me I said sobbing into his shirt.