Letters To A Stranger

As long as stars are above you

"Dear Isak,

It's been three months since my last letter and I apologize for that.
But..for the first 14 days, I haven't even been awake and the last 2 1/2 months, I have spent recovering.
Two weeks ago, I couldn't even write and look where I am now.

But who am I to tell you all that?
You have been by my side through all of it. And I couldn't be more grateful for that.
Through every dark day (and you know there were lots of them) you have been my light.
You were the one to calm me down when I was angry, the one to comfort me when I was crying and the one to celebrate it the most when I was making progress. I know, that without you, I wouldn't be where I am now, so thank you.
Thank you for being my better half, and...to be completely honest, the stronger half. Because every time I'm lacking strength, you are the one to make me strong again. You make me strong.

You told me that you read all of my letters. I mean, all of them were addressed to you, but that doesn't mean, that I wasn't still a tiny bit embarrassed at the thought of you knowing, how badly I was swooning over you, back when you didn't even know my name. You said that you found it adorable, but your cheeky little smirk told me that you would probably tease me for it someday. Anyways, if you hadn't found the letters, or, if my mum hadn't found the letters, then you probably wouldn't have written me one and read it out to me.

I still remember how it felt to hear your voice in all this darkness.
It was the only thing, that was powerful enough to pull me back, pull me out of the black ocean, that my mind was drowning in.
So...maybe, if you hadn't read your letter to me, I wouldn't have come back. This thought alone makes shivers run down my spine. Isn't it crazy how things have a way of working out?
I don't know about you, but after this experience, I really and honestly believe in destiny.
Because you and me, meeting, couldn't have been a coincidence.
You and me, falling in love, wasn't just a whim of nature. I saved you from hiding the real you and now, as crazy as it sounds, you saved me from dying. I believe, that we are destined to be together, Isak. We're simply meant to be.

I know I sound cheesy as hell, but nearly dying has changed me. I don't take anything for granted any longer, not my friends, my family, nothing.
I have realized how blessed I am.
I mean, I live in a free country, I have a ceiling above my head and don't have to worry about food or money, I have an amazing, supportive family and the best of friends and I have you. Freedom, family, friends and love is so much more than a lot of people in the world can call theirs. I can see that now.

I feel that not only I, but our relationship, too, has changed.
It's definitely true to say that bad things bring people only closer together.
Maybe it's the way you look at me, or the way we act around each other, but we are closer than ever before.
I feel like I can tell you anything and I know that you feel the same way.
To know that there always is and always will be someone I can go to with anything, is simply the best feeling in the world.

We've now been together for almost six months. I know that it's not a long time, but I still feel like I've known you or all my life. I love you.

Coming back to more unpleasant topics, tomorrow is my first day of school.
I'm kind of happy to see everyone again, but at the same time, my motivation for studying is at level zero. I've tried to keep up with school stuff over the past few weeks, but like I said, I couldn't even write something down, let alone think through f*cking complicated biology texts.

Yeah, I really missed school. My German-project with Silas (and David apparently) has been rescheduled for next week, because of me.
All of the others have already presented their scene one month ago and I'm kind of disappointed that I've missed everything.
It must've been pretty hilarious according to yours, Sana's and David's telling. David, that's another thing...I know it sounds crazy, but I've noticed a strange tension between him and Silas lately. Every time they've visited me at the same time, Silas was overly flirtatious towards David (even more than he used to me towards me) and David's acted like a 15-year old, shy version of his normal self.
Suspicious.