Critical (Cara Delevingne&Kendall Jenner)

Chapter 21: Change me, accept me, come and get me

Kendall

If anything, I wanted to move on from Jamie more than I ever wanted anything before. And I always thought to myself alcohol and weed would help me, but they've done the exact opposite. The only thing they've done to me was blurry visions and empty heart, and a head full of her. I've learned moving on from someone you love and care about is one of the hardest things, and you can't rush it, you can't ignore it, you just have to let it pass by with time. And when you finally move on, you feel happy and free and you're ready to fall in love all over again. But I've learned love doesn't happen over night. It gets to you at your most breakable moment, so unexpectedly and makes you fall for someone so painfully hard.

And I promised myself a long ago I won't fall in love again. Maybe I'm keeping my promise, or maybe I'm lying to myself without even knowing it. Falling in love may seem easy, but it really isn't. It takes time, moments and the right person.

Personally, I believe you only get to fall in love three times in your life. First, you gotta love yourself. When you achieve that, and a certain maturity in life, you get to meet that one person and you fall in love for the second time. And the last time you get to fall in love is when you give a birth to a child. I personally hate children with rage but I still see myself having one or two in the future.

I snap out of my deep thoughts as I hear the water for coffee boiling. I lean on the kitchen counter and make myself coffee. Since I'm home alone and it's Saturday, I can go out on my balcony and have a cigarette.

I hear my phone buzzing next to me so I check the caller ID. Cara Delevingne. I pick up.

"Yeah?" I say as I hear her taking a deep breath.

"Morning. Have you been drinking last night?"

How does she know that?

"Yeah, how do you know that?"

"Maybe go check the text message you sent me, and make sure you didn't send anything to any of your exes, as well."

Message? I sent her a fucking message?

"Sorry about that. I was dru-"

"Nah, don't blame it on alcohol. Have you ever heard of a saying Only children and drunken people are honest? Do you mind explaining it?"

"Actually, I do mind. I'm not explaining anything over phone. Meet me in centre at 2."

With that, I hang up and throw my phone on the table. I've never been one of those people who would drunken text you about how much they love you, and I would never drunken text my ex. Sure, Cara isn't my ex but it's obvious there's something between us.

___________

I nervously light up a cigarette as I wait for Cara. She should be here any minute and I still haven't figured the explanation out. I don't even remember texting her, and I remember the reason I texted her even less.

"Hi," I hear a raspy voice behind me and I turn around to see a messy-haired Cara. I give her a light smile and wave, throwing away my cigarette.

"Hey."

We start walking towards my favourite bar and awkward silence strikes in between us.

"So," Cara starts awkwardly. "Did you have fun last night?"

I give her a dirty look and clench my jaw.

"What do you care?" I spit. Cara just laughs as she takes a seat opposite from me.

She locks my eyes with hers in a painfully long eye-contact and continues with her amount of questions.

"Actually, I do. If you sent me that text I guess you hadn't had exactly a blast of a night. So, do you mind telling me what's gotten into you that you suddenly decided to text me after 1 month of not speaking?"