I'm sorry [Kendall Jenner]

18: darling

The decision was made.

Six months, 9 days, 18 hours and 43 minutes later, the decision had been made.

We discussed how horrible was from us to keep Val like this, she deserved to be free, to go wherever God planned her to be. But it was hard, knowing that in any minute she could be gone. Gone from our dreamt life, our plans, the future we had discussed so many times, I never got to meet her the way I wanted to.

I sat next to her, 6:44.

16 minutes until... it.

"I don't want to live in a world without you" I whispered holding her hand, I felt dry, I had no tears left yet I was devastated. A single droplet fell from my left eye.

"I love you, I'm sorry if I never told you this as much as you needed to hear it, I'm sorry for this mess. I know is my fault, I was a bitch, I hurt you and that's something I'll regret the rest of my life" I place my head on her lap

"Two years baby" I whispered lovingly "I wish I had more time, I want to hear you say baby one more time, look into those gorgeous eyes"

"This world is too big for me to walk alone and I don't want to walk it beside anyone but you" I sighed deeply "so, darling, please... wake up" I held her hand as tears spilled from my eyes

"You are a little bit more than the love of my life... I'm letting you go baby, I know this isn't what we planned, I know I sound so repetitive, I know you're tired, but I don't want to let you go, it took me so much time to find a love like the one you gave me and I'm not ready, I can't let you go... PLEASE GOD, DON'T TAKE HER YET!" I threw myself at her trying to pass some of my life to her, to make her open those gorgeous eyes

"Please, pleaseeee" I implored holding her lifeless body close to me

"I refuse to live without you, I REFUSE! Now open those damn eyes and apologize for having them closed for so long!"

10 minutes

I held her tightly, those were our very last minutes together even she couldn't feel them I savored every second to keep them inside me for the rest of my life. I was the love of her life, she told me and she was mine, I couldn't move on after her, I didn't know how to love anyone else, I couldn't love again.

"Don't do this to me... Valentina, don't leave me baby, comeback to me" I pleaded

I had 9 minutes more, her parents were outside, I was the last one to say goodbye before the took her assisted life.

"We have 8 minutes baby, please wake up" I urged feeling my life coming to an end

I imagined what my life would be without her, I couldn't. We had everything planned, and even if we didn't we had that hope, the time and everything else you say you're going to do when you have time but now we didn't have any, all we had were 7 minutes.

"Darling... if you can hear me please don't go just yet, don't leave me please" I knew I sounded repetitive

I was hoping for some kind of miracle, her eyes would suddenly open and she would smile and forgive me and we would spent the rest of our lives telling the story of how I almost lost her.

But she didn't. Her eyelids were down, pale and the little veins turning deep purple. The little scars never faded, and the big ones were thin all across her body yet she was so unbelievable beautiful.

7 minutes left

Was she going to suffer?

I hope with all of my soul that that doesn't happen, I hope she goes peacefully and smiling to whoever is up there.

"Take care of my baby" I whispered to the ceiling "She looks though but she's fragile"

"don't take my baby away" she's my baby, my one and only. How sad is that you spent half your life searching for someone to come along to fill you with joy and make you the happiest you've ever been and suddenly you lost it all, and you're left with bittersweet memories and ghost of the kisses that will haunt you wherever you go.

"I'm sorry Miss Jenner" the doctor entered

"No" I said wrapping my body to hers

"I have 5 minutes left" the doctor sighed and stood in the corner with 3 more interns and 2 nurses

"Listen to me, I love you, I will always love you, I found the ring and I'm going to take care of it, tell your patita that you're safe now, nothing can hurt you anymore, tell her that you are the love of my life and that losing you was the hardest thing I had to go through" I took a deep breath "You won't completely leave me, I read books of physics and some kind of article that the energy of the ones you love never leave, I'm going to miss you, more than you can imagine, I'm sorry for being a bitch and complain all the time" I couldn't breathe "I'm sorry... for, for, for everything I've done, please forgive me"

"I know we'll meet again, I promise I'll look for you when I get up there" I said finally letting go off her

It took all the strength in my body to let them go to her

"It's time" the doctor said and Val's parents came in, with an old lady I didn't know, Lucía and Emilia.

The stood next to her taking off the nasal cannula, before they started to take off the cables and the tube she had in her throat, there she was lying in bed just with a monitor that indicated she was still alive

"Beep" it sounded and continued to do it so until it became slower

Onemiracle, bring her back... please; I'll give anything I swear. 

Just one miracle.