Vic's POV
I winced in pain. Kellin apologized, pressing the damp cloth more gently to the gash across my chest. Wasn't anything too serious, but sure was bleeding like hell.
I stared down at my boyfriend in sorrow as I watched his features turn more concerned as he cleaned me up. I knew he didn't like the type of life I lived, but this is how I grew up and I was in too far to get out. My life within the gang I liked to keep completely separate from my personal life. If there was one thing I cared about in this world more than anything, it was Kellin.
Not a word was heard from him as he set the cloth in the sink and unrolled a strip of gauze for my wound. Carefully, he placed it across the cut, patching it up with some medical tape. No matter how much physical pain I was put through, nothing hurt more than to see Kellin in any state of despair.
He kept his eyes trained on my chest, gently running his fingertips over the gauze. I lifted my hands, placing them on his frail sides. I loved how much smaller Kellin was than me. It made me feel like I could love and take care of him that much more. My thumbs brushed back and forth along the cotton of one of my t-shirts he was wearing.
The silence was broken as a worrisome sigh fell from Kellin's lips. I felt my heart twinge as his big sad eyes looked up into mine. Whenever he was sad, they'd turn into such an amazing blue. Like a perfect sky weaved with the finest hints of aqua.
A pale, shaking hand was lifted and brought to cup the side of my face. His eyes were watering. It hurt. It hurt a lot more than I imagined anyone could ever do to me with the simple action of crying.
"Vic," he whispered, his plump, pink lips trembling as he held back his tears. Slowly, his face was becoming more flushed.
"No, baby. Please. Don't cry. . ." I utter gently, bringing my face closer to his. Seeing someone you love in pain was something so unbearable for me to see.
A shaky breath cut through the air. "I'm so worried about you, Vic. . .Sometimes I don't know if you're going to come home alive. And. . .that scares me. It really, really does." I could tell by the tone of his voice that this was something that had been bothering him a while. I mean, of course I knew it affected Kellin and that was something I tried to come to terms with since I started dating him. I was into this shitty life before I even knew him. It was a hard decision for Kellin to decide he wanted to be together. He had to live with the fact of knowing I was in situations everyday that could possibly ensue death, but he told me he loved me too much to walk away.
That's why Kellin was so special to my life. Ever since we started dating I vowed that I would never let anyone harm him, and that was a promise I still haven't broken, and never plan to.
"I know, and I'm sorry, Kellin. . .You know I wish I could just leave this life behind. . .but I can't." I held him a little tighter.
"Why, Vic?! Why not?" He sobbed, his voice cracking. He was making this harder for me to handle, but I could understand this wasn't easy for him either.
"You know why, baby. If I were just to up and leave, I'd have men coming after to shoot my ass and we both know that's not what we want."
I watched as tears continued to stroll down his cheeks, his breathing now regular and his face barely contorted. My heart shattered. I didn't deserve him, of course. Anyone could see that, but I needed him in my life more than anything. After coming home from nights of getting beat to a bloody pulp, he still managed to put a smile on my face. He was literally the light of my life. There's no one like him, and I mean that.
"I'm sorry," he breathed, looking down in shame, "it's always been like this and it will always be like this. I shouldn't have brought it up. . ." He retracted his arms from me to pinch the bridge of his nose. He always did that when he was trying to hold back tears. The look of pain on his face was too hard to handle.
Tears slowly welled up in my own eyes. Never, not in the four years we have been together, have I ever cried in front of Kellin. Shit, the kid made me more emotional than anyone, but I was known to never cry. But something about how vulnerable and upset he was right now was getting to my heart more than he's ever done. I knew I needed a better life for him. A better life for us.
I sniffled softly, my heart skipping a beat when Kellin's head shot up to look at me. At first, he looked confused, then his face fell when he realized what happened. I tried to conceal it before he saw, but the tears already came sliding down my cheeks. He gasped, and I couldn't blame him. There was barely anyone that has ever seen me cry.
"Vic? Baby, are you okay? Why- why are you crying?" he cried, softly. He cradled my face in his hands, staring deeply into my eyes, his watery as well.
"This. This life. It isn't fair to you. And I'm going to make it better. For you. I want you to be able to know when I'm out that I'm safe or that I won't be dead the next morning. I want us to be able to actually adopt children together. To grow old and know everything will be alright. It won't be like this forever, and I promise you that, Kellin."
I reached up and tucked a strand of his ivory locks behind his ear, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple. I loved him and there's nothing I wouldn't do for him. A look of adoration resided on his features. It made my heart warm because I could tell he appreciated it. But this is what I owed him after making him live this life.
"I love you, Kellin, and I hope you know that," I tell him, stroking his cheek lovingly, just wanting to be close to the man I loved.
A tear streaked his gorgeous pale cheek, and I knew by the small tug of his lips it held a different emotion. "Of course, I do, Vic. I hope you know that I love you, too."
I nodded, biting my lip as a whirlwind of emotions washed over. I could be genuine with him. He was the most genuine person I knew and that made me, for once, feel safe.
I wiped my tears sheepishly, letting out a watery laugh. "Look at this, you got me all soft now," I joke, making him giggle. It made my heart practically smile it sounded so perfect to me.
"Hey, I like guys in touch with their emotional side," he said teasingly, a big smile now on his face. Even though his cheeks were trailed with tears, I could see he was going to be alright. We were going to be alright.
I looked down at his perfect lips, the ones I was lucky enough to get to kiss everyday.
"Come on, give me a kiss," I whisper, smiling fondly down at him.
He giggled, taking hold of my face and bringing my lips down onto his. I kissed him sweetly, letting my emotions just channel through. We stood there for god knows how long with our lips pressed together, knowing that this was a new start for us. Things wouldn't be tough forever.
Hey, guys! Sorry, that was like the longest hiatus of human existencd, but I'm back and I think I'm ready to write again. I'm not going to explain why I was gone for so long coz thats a drag, but I hope you enjoyed! Also, the PTV concert was fucking LITTT. I was front row and got Mike's set list 😢
