Six Degrees Of Separation

Backslide

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I said.

Everything's wrong.

I struggled to keep myself composed because my tears were dangerously close to falling.

"Bea." Jana ran after me. "Stop."

"I don't feel so good, Jana." I said. "I think I need to lie down."

"What happened there ba?" She asked. "Why was Jho crying? Bakit iniwan natin siya dun?"

"I don't know." I said. I closed my eyes and tried my best to forget the image of Jho crying in front of me.

"Bea." Jana called again. She was struggling to keep up because I was walking so fast, I was almost running.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go!" I said and I ran.

I ran and ran until I got to my hotel room.

"Beaaaa!" Jamie called. "Where have you been?"

I ignored her and headed straight to my room.

The others called me but I paid no heed. Once I got inside my room, I locked the door and slid down the wall.

I'm so angry and so hurt right now. Bakit ba ganun ang nangyari?

I gripped my head as the thoughts came back.

I'm glad we're over.

Those words kept playing in my head over and over again. I struggled to prevent my tears from falling but I was unsuccessful. In my frustration, I punched the wall over and over again. My hand started bleeding but I felt no pain. The only thing I felt was the stinging ache in my chest.

"Bea!" Therese was knocking on my door.

I sighed. There's no way Therese would leave me alone. I wiped my tears and took a deep breath.

I opened the door and poked my head out. "Trey, not now. I don't feel good."

"What happened?" She asked.

"Wala, nahilo lang ako sa init." I lied.

She frowned and pushed the door so she could come inside. I immediately hid my hand behind my back.

"Don't lie to me. I know when you've been crying." She looked at me. "What happened?"

I bit my lip. I don't want to talk about it and yet I felt compelled to cry on her shoulder.

"Come on, I'm here." She coaxed.

I hugged her and the rest of the gang came in and joined in on our hug. Nagaabang lang pala sila sa labas.

"We're here."

When I was calm enough, I explained what happened between Jho and I.

"Bea." Therese said. "You know I'm here for you right?"

"Right." I replied.

"And I always will. But what you did was wrong." She said seriously. "You should know that."

"I know." I looked down. It's one thing kung kay Jia manggaling, but when Therese says I'm wrong, it means I really screwed up.

"You should go apologize." She continued. "But not right now."

"I will." I said.

"Pupuntahan ko siya." Therese said. "Ji, text me her number na lang."

Jamie accompanied her and together, they walked out of my room.