Six Degrees Of Separation

Fel-ings

"Leaving so soon?" Therese smirked.

"Yeah, I have plans with Fel." I replied.

It had been a month since my birthday and Fel and I have been spending more and more time together.

"Seryoso na kayo?" Jia goaded.

"No," I said. "We're not dating naman. Just hanging out. I told you, I don't plan on being serious with someone."

It's the truth. I really don't have feelings for Fel. We just hang out and hook up but I made it clear that I'm not looking for anything serious. She seemed okay with the idea and spending time with her is also a good reason to make my friends stop harping on about me being single.

But a small part of me is still waiting that someday, Jho and I will cross paths again.

I gave myself 6 months to find Jho and I'm at the end of month 4 already. I was starting to lose hope so I guess, in a way, Fel is my safety net.

"Hanging out my ass!" Jamie stuck her tongue out.

"Balita ko, attached na daw siya eh." Therese said.

"Says who?" I asked.

"Mukha ngang hulog na. I see it on her face." Mich chimed in.

I scoffed. "It's nothing. Alam niya naman na chill lang kami."

"Baka ikaw lang ang chill." Jia shook her head.

"Yes. Haven't you learned anything, Bea? Everyone gets attached to you eventually." Jamie sighed.

"Oh, not this agai---" I groaned.

"Remember Jessica?" Mich said.

"And RJ?" Therese added.

"And Kianna?" Jia finished.

"Hindi nga ganun. Kapag meron nang kami, you guys will be the first to know." I winked and walked away.

On my way to my car, I called Fel.

"We still on for tonight?" I said.

"Sure. Saan tayo kakain?" She said through the phone.

"Ikaw na pumili. Text me the details. I'll meet you there na lang." I opened the car door.

"Got it. See you."

. . .

"Why aren't you eating?" I asked. "Is something wrong?"

Fel was just pushing her food around, deep in thought.

"Wala naman. I've been thinking.." She started.

"What?"

She looked at me. "Ano ba tayo?"

I took a sip of water. "I told you. We're just casual. I don't want anything too serious."

"But why?" She asked.

I shrugged. "Ayoko lang ng relationship."

"Are you still hung up on the Bora girl?" She continued.

"Don't be silly." I said. "Di ko na nga maalala yun."

Wrong. She was all I could think about.

"So it's your ex.." Fel muttered.

"Yeah, that's probably it." I lied.

"Ano bang nangyari?" She prodded.

"I told you, I don't want to talk about it." I dismissed.

"You don't want to talk about anything!" She fired up. "I'm getting sick of you being so closed off."

I was annoyed. "No one's asking you to stay, Fel. We're not dating."

"Yes. And you never let me forget that." She stood up. "Find yourself another girl because this whole 'friends with benefits' thing between us is over."

She walked away without another word. I sighed and asked for the bill.

I got home and showered. When I got to my bed, I checked my phone to see if Fel left any messages. She didn't. I sighed and went to sleep.

. . .

It was a dull day at the office. I picked my phone up and dialled Therese's cell.

"Good morning! This is Bea de Leon, an associate from Gervacio and Ho Law Offices. I'm just calling to check if you have any cases today you'd like to be taken off your plate." I joked.

"I'm literally 10 feet away from you." She said.

I laughed. I always liked to call her up even if our cubicles were not too far from each other.

I approached her cubicle. She stuck her tongue out and ignored me.

"Lunch tayo! On me." I said.

"Busy." She replied.

I peeked my head in front of her laptop screen and saw that she was just checking discount flights on Cebu Pacific.

"Busy my ass." I closed her laptop screen. "Tara na."

"I want sushi." Therese pouted as I dragged her out of the room. We picked up a confused Jia on the way out.

"Fel and I are kaput. Alam niyo na ba?" I said as we gobbled on Maki.

"Why?" They both asked.

I shrugged. "She wants more eh."

"Sabi ko sa'yo eh." Jia sighed.

"I was clear about what I wanted," I explained. "Hindi ko naman siya pinaasa."

"But alam mo namang they always fall." Therese rolled her eyes.

"I gotta admit though," I paused to eat a huge chunk of sushi. "I kinda miss her."

"Ibig sabihin kawalan siya?" Jia gasped.

"I guess she is, yes."

"Dude, you gotta go fix this." Therese pinched my arm. "She means something. You should let her know."

"Do I really have to?" I groaned.

"Yes, dummy." They said in unison.

. . .

"Can we talk?" I said over the phone. A week has passed since I saw Fel.

"Bakit pa?" She sounded annoyed.

"Please? Susunduin kita."

"No need. Meet me at Starbucks na lang." The line went dead.

"I was.. wrong." I said shortly.

"About what?" We were seated across each other and she had her arms crossed.

"I told you that what I wanted was just casual.." I scratched my head. "But I missed you."

"And what's that supposed to make me feel?"

"I don't know. I just.. wanted to tell you that I'm ready." I took a deep breath. "That is, if you still want to date me."

She sighed. "I still do."

I smiled and she did the same.

The next day, I told Therese what happened.

"That's great!" She beamed. "Do you like her ba?"

"I guess. But I don't think I'm ready to be her girlfriend. Sapat na yung dating muna." I answered.

"Baby steps, B." She winked.