Paper Bride ✔️ (Book 4 - DP Series - COMPLETE)

35. No Regrets

"Well," I say, pulling my knees towards my chest and wrapping my arms around them. "Whoever's job it is to inflate your ego, they're failing at it miserably." I laugh at my own lame joke, but I find my cheesiness worth it when Seth laughs with me.

The credits for the movie we'd been watching moments before start to roll up the screen and I glance toward the TV, not even a little bit disappointed that we'd missed the ending. It's getting close to supper time by now and I'm debating whether I want to get up and cook or if I'd rather just starve in the comfort of my couch. I opt for option number two. I have zero desire to move and zero desire to whip up a meal. So, might as well remain content where I'm at.

Seth clearly has other plans though, because he's pushing himself off the couch the moment he notices that our movie is over. I watch him head to the kitchen and a little part of me celebrates over the fact that he's probably going to do the honors of making dinner—just like he has for the past three weeks.

He's been good to me. Really good. It's funny how much easier our relationship has become over the past three weeks since my mother's death. It's like Seth realizes how much I'm hurting and he's doing everything in his power to ease that pain. Even if he doesn't actually wish to shower me with affection and kindness, he's doing a good job of pretending. And yet, somehow, I don't think he's pretending.

As my thoughts swirl around mine and Seth's relationship, I find my eyes growing heavy. I've been doing a lot of sleeping lately, and I don't know if it's my body finally catching up on months of horrible sleep, or if it's a side effect of grief. But, whatever the reason, I'm grateful. I drift off to the sound of Seth chopping vegetables in the kitchen with a satisfied smile on my lips.

———

It seems like hours have passed when I feel a slight shake of my shoulders. I peel my eyelids apart and glance around with blurry vision. Blinking several times, I find Seth's face just inches from mine. He offers a tender smile and then mutters that dinner is ready.

I'm so groggy as I sit up that a part of me wants to just drop back into the couch and sleep until November, but I'm too hungry. That's one thing that didn't die along with my mother—my appetite. I actually think it's grown. If I'm not careful, I'll be a whale by Christmas.

Too bad my motivation has ceased to exist. My desire to look as fit and delicious as possible has withered to basically nothing. The only things that really matter these days are food and sleep... and Summer Sausage—because Summer Sausage deserves a category of its own apart from simply 'food'. Sausage is special and will always have a place in my heart.

Seth and I take our seats around the dining room table—a new tradition for us, but one I'm not against in the slightest—as we prepare to eat. I watch as Seth fills our plates with mashed potatoes and meatloaf. It smells so good that I nearly groan in anticipation. It's literally only been three hours since I last ate, but by the acceleration of my pulse, and the overflow of saliva on my tongue, you'd think I hadn't eaten in days. Ridiculous, really. I need to just calm down.

We munch in silence—well, almost silence... apart from my not-so-silent munching—because I'm too busy shoveling food into my pie hole to offer any conversation. I'm actually slightly surprised I haven't gnawed a finger or two off in my hurry to fill my gaping stomach. I know Seth is watching me. I can almost feel the concern in his gaze, but I ignore it. The last thing on my mind is looking beautiful. Food comes before beauty any day, and if Seth has a problem with that, he can close his eyes... or leave.

"You know what I want to do?" I suddenly ask, a mound of food making my left cheek bulge like a volcano.

This would be a horrible time to laugh because there'd be no holding in the contents. It'd be a mess. And unfortunately for me, just the thought of that happening has a smile spreading over my face. It's very bad timing for a smile, but I manage to quickly chew and swallow before any food explodes out of my grinning lips.