Evil Games. {Calum Hood fanfic}

-Calum-

19th August, 2014, 10:00 AM

"And the last group to have made their way through is 5 seconds of summer" It was unbelievable that we finally got through, we've been practicing for so long and now we can have music classes again and it was such a beautiful moment. We were screaming and cheering and Shweta came to me and hugged me, and I hugged her back, we stayed like that for awhile and then pulled back, "Thank you so much for doing everything you've ever done for making this happen, Calum" She smiled. I did not reply but I just smiled back.

It wasn't working, nothing was working with Shweta, eventually we became friends and spoke alot but she had no clue about my huge crush on her and it was ridiculous. I hated it so much, she couldn't see me and she always spoke about Jason and I did not want to tell her about my huge stupid crush on her because she would start blaming herself and it would be a mess. For a while, I did not want to lose her, but sometimes, I couldn't give a fuck. I was so confused if I wanted her or not. But I had no chance anyway, because she was so in love with Jason and she stopped hanging out with us at evenings because she was so busy with her boyfriend.

I did not hate Jason but I did not like him either. I couldn't. It made me sick to the gut that he's out with Shweta. We never had friendly conversations when we met, because I was just never interested. Shweta would always pick up a fight with me for that, but honestly, I don't fucking care. I hate him and that's it.

Sometimes I feel like a walking contradiction  because I’m not necessarily a sad or unhappy person, I find joy in all the little things, but I can also blow upa nd explode, at any minute just because someone had said something or I remember  how much of a shitty person, I sometimes am. People say I’m a grenade always blowing up at things. But when I really look at myself I do see a good person. I see someone happy, I  see someone sad, I see someone so confused. It’s funny, because I feel like there are triggers everywhere in my system that send off these little lightbulbs and turning the switch on and off and on and off and all of a sudden I find myself asking "How am I, today?" Okay? Not okay? Sometimes I feel both.Does that make me sound like a madman? I guess I’m just being human, but still, sometimes,  I wish I can genuinely be one thing and less of the other. And ever since I found out how Shweta doesn't like me, my tendencies of becoming aggressive, rude and an asshole are increasing. I don't blame myself but I feel really bad when I get all of my anger out on someone else.

"Calum?" I turn around to see Kristy.

"Hey!" I smiled.

"You're walking home, alone?" She asked.

"I guess, why? You have some work?" 

"No, I thought we could go together." She smiled. 

"Sure!" I replied.

"Kristy, you're coming with me." I turned around to see, well of course, Michael.

"Why can't we all go together?" She asked.

"Because you're coming with me."

"Of course she's going with you, you like taking everything I get," I said sarcastically.

He looked at me strangely and came near me, "What the fuck?" He shot me a glare.

And there was obviously something wrong with me or I was just being my asshole self, "Isn't it the truth? You've always taken away what was mine!"

Michael looked at me in confusion and stepped a bit away, "Kristy, go home." He called out, "I have to talk to Calum." Kristy simply obeyed because she could see the tension growing.