The art of survival (Maya Hart/joshaya)

Chapter 29

At first he froze, as he didn't know how to react, hell, even I didn't know how to react. When I pulled back from the kiss he looked at me with big eyes.

"Why did you do that?" He whispered and stroked some of my hair behind my ear. I took a deep breath.

"Because I love you, no matter what you have done." I whispered back. That was the words that broke down his last barrier and finally made him pull me close to him. His lips found mine in a second. My arms moved by themselves up over his chest, over his shoulders to finally rest them behind his neck. His hands lingered on my waist and pulled me closer to him. I could feel our hearts beating in perfect rhythm next to each other. When we parted he rested his forehead against mine, his fingers following the scar on my cheek.

"You mean that? After all I have done?" He asked with a husky voice and with his eyes closed. I kissed the tip of his nose, making him look me in the eyes again.

"Always." I whispered. He smirked before lifting me up so that I sat on his lap.

"Good, because I love you too." He said, making my heart flutter a little bit. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my side making me groan.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Josh asked. He looked extremely worried. I shook my head. Sometimes the pain just came no matter how careful I was, it wasn't anyones felt except the ones that beat me.

"No, it's okay." I said, turning my focus to him again. He didn't look less worried, the opposite actually.

"Maya, don't lie to me. I don't even know half the things they did to you, it's okay to feel pain." He whispered.

"That's the problem. I don't think it's really physical pain, it's more in my head." I answered. I felt uncomfortable talking about this. At first I thought someone was hitting me again when the pain had started but I have come to realize that it's all in my head, fractions of my memories reliving themselves in my body. No matter how I tried they didn't go away. I put my head in my heads, trying to cover my red eyes.

"Maya..." Josh tried. I laughed without any happiness, trying to brush it over.

"It's nothing. My head doesn't just understand that I am not there anymore." I smiled weakly. Instead of answering my question, Josh's hands followed once again my scars, beginning at my cheek and then let them slide under my shirt. His fingertips felt gentle, almost like he was drawing paintings on my skin, drawing new good memories over the bad ones. Suddenly the wind took whined outside the windows. My body froze and I started breathing rapidly fast, my whole back burning of pain. Pictures flashed under my eyelids and suddenly I didn't feel Josh anymore. All I saw was a black leather whip, all I heard was the whining as it moved through the air. All I felt was the pain when it lashed my skin to shreds.

"No, no... Please stop!" I screamed of pain, suddenly I felt someone hold my hand but I couldn't see it. I was blind in my hallucination.

"Maya, its okay... It's okay Maya, it was just the wind." I heard Josh's shout. I shut my eyes as tightly as I could, tried to force myself to wake up from this nightmare. Suddenly I was in the arms of Josh again. My breathing hadn't slowed down yet and I could feel the adrenaline flow through my veins.

"It's okay Maya, you are safe. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again. I promise." Josh said slowly and kissed my head.

"Why do these things keep happening? Haven't we been through enough?" I whispered, Josh held me tighter and his steady heartbeats slowly calmed me down.

"I don't know Maya, I wish I knew..." Josh whispered back, his words slowly drowning in the darkness of the night, while holding me close towards him. The only place I felt safe for the first time in what felt like forever.