The art of survival (Maya Hart/joshaya)

Chapter 18

Emptiness, that was all I could feel. Riley was crying, basically screaming, over Lucas's dead body. The boy from Texas looked so cold. Farkle shook Lucas's shoulders, trying to wake him up. I didn't do anything. My tears had stopped, all I felt was cold and empty.

"Riley, h-he is going to turn." Josh voice cracked as he tried to get his three year old younger niece away from the boy's body. She refused, only crying louder. I took a step back. I couldn't do this anymore. My breathing had gotten heavier; it felt as if I didn't get any oxygen. Farkle and Sarah had grabbed Riley by her shoulders, lifting her thin body away from the boy she once loved. My heart was beating but it was beating too fast. I tried to breathe in but I still felt like I was suffocating. Cries, screams, Riley in pain, Josh getting down on his knees to pierce Lucas's brain with his knife before he turned, it was too much. I looked down on my bloody boots as Josh pierced Lucas's head with his knife. A tear fell down my face, just one single tear. I watched it fall down on the ground as Riley screamed again. I need to breathe again. I looked up. Farkle and Sarah had held Riley back. Josh let go of the knife, wiped a tear away from his face and then pulled his niece closely in a tight hug.

I can't do this. I don't want to do this. I don't want to see this. I need to breathe. Breathe in, breath out, it didn't calm me down. Farkle looked up at me, noticing that I had backed away from all that was going on. He held out a hand towards me with pain in his eyes. I shook my head and crossed my arms over myself. I couldn't hold his hand. I wanted to but I couldn't do it. I couldn't stay here. Farkle still held his hand up and looked at Lucas again. One of his closest friends. I couldn't watch this, I needed to get away. I needed to breathe again. Before any of them noticed me I ran to the woods. As I had passed the first couple of trees I heard them scream after me.

"Maya! Come back!" I heard Farkle scream after me. I didn't look back as I sprinted into the forest. I cried while running, making the world go blurry. Why did I ever think keeping anyone close again was a good idea? People leave, people die and people change. My heart was beating hard in my chest. I wanted it to stop. I just wanted everything to stop. I wasn't able to see the meadow anymore. I was deep into the green forest, surrounded by trees that couldn't hurt me. I felt something wet on my arm; red blood was flowing down my wrist. I must have cut myself on my knife while running. I didn't care to try to patch it up. Not anymore. I turned around; everything was spinning as I fell down on my knees, breathing heavily while trying to get a grip on my shattered world. I lay down, looking up at the sky.

Why do you run away? A blurry voice whispered in the wind. I cried.

"Because I can't lose more people." I whispered back to the wind. I am going crazy right here, right now.

Why did you stop running? The blurry voice asked again, louder this time.

"Because I want to die." I whispered again. Suddenly I was pulled away from my safe place on the ground, pulled up into someone's lap.

"Don't you dare say that ever again Maya." Josh whispered in my ear. I cried in pain as he checked my cut.

"What's the point Josh? Everyone leaves eventually." I whispered. Josh pulled me up so that I was facing him. His blue eyes were red of the tears this world has left him with.

"Maya, I am here. I am here and I am not leaving. I promise that I won't leave you but you can't continue to leave us Maya. You can't leave Riley, you can't leave me." Josh whispered before kissing me softly on the forehead. I let him do it. I wanted him to do it. He then kissed me softly on the lips and I placed a hand gently on his cheek making him deepen it. The world passed around me, I don't know the time, I don't know where I am but I do know that I love the boy that now held me close towards his chest.

Josh helped me up from the ground carefully. I felt dizzy when I got up, probably from the blood loss and the past events. Josh ripped a piece of his shirt of and bandaged my arm. I closed my eyes tightly as the pain stung through my arm. We started to walk back to the meadow, Josh held me up, preventing me from falling, both physically and mentally.

"I am tired Josh." I whispered as he stopped. We had barely moved fifty meters. He picked me up bridal style and continued to walk.

"Don't pass out on me Maya." He whispered before he started to run back to the others with my pale body secure in his arms. Holding me tightly while I tried to stay awake and not follow the beautiful songs that called me from the dreams. I tried to stay awake for the ones I loved.