Never Be Alone//Shawn Mendes

27 (6 years later)

I wake up to the sound of little footsteps pattering down the hall. Rolling over, I yawn, and a huge smile spreads across my face when I see what lies on the bed next to me. A bright pink sticky note reads, "Good morning love, come to the kitchen when you wake."

I hop out of bed, pulling on Adidas joggers and tuck in Shawn's t shirt, which is my go-to sleepwear. Opening the curtains, raw sunlight leaks into the room, making me smile even wider. What a good life I've made here. Strolling into the hall, I hear Dora playing on the TV. My little munchkin sits on the couch, watching her favorite show as the fireplace blazes, stocked with firewood. I lean down and kiss Madeline's head, her soft dark brown hair tickling my nose. She spins to look at me and giggles. She laughs an excited "hi mommy" before turning back around just in time to sing along to Dora's theme song. Her gorgeous eyes and dark hair screams Shawn, while her full lips and protruding cheekbones were definitely inherited from me.

I hear my name called from the kitchen. Walking through the white curtain that separates the living room from the kitchen, I see one hot man staring back at me. Shawn stands there in the same pants that I'm wearing. He's shirtless, so those "car crash" abs tease me. Car crash as in, you want to look away, but you can't. I mean, he knows I'm staring at them, so I SHOULD look away, but I don't. Who could? I'd totally lick whipped cream off of those...You know what, that doesn't sound too bad...

"Whatchya thinking about?" Shawn cocks his head sideways at me and smiles. My heart melts, like it does every time he smiles. Everyday I'm beyond grateful for him. Each time I look at him, it's like falling in love all over again.

"You," I smirk, walking over, wrapping my arms around his torso, and burying my head into his chest.

"Hmm, what about me?" It's Shawn's turn to smirk now. I shrug and shake my head.

"Guess you'll have to wait and see," I wink.

"I like the sound of that." Shawn grins before turning back to the stove to tend on the bacon that sizzling in a pan.

"I bet you do big boy." I laugh and find my way back to Madeline, sitting down on the couch, nice and toasty warm, loving my life and every second of it.

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"Madeline! Get your shoes on or you're going to be late!" I huff, grabbing my keys and sprinting into her room. I shove a pair of pink flats onto her cute little feet and swing her onto my back. "Don't want to be late for your first recital, do you?"

"No, mommy, but I couldn't find my lucky wing." She pouts in my ear, bouncing on my back as I walk to the car. I smile at her adorable inability to pronounce her r's, for they come out sounding like w's. The black GMC glistens in the sun and I smile. Shawn got me my dream car as a honeymoon present. I don't even know where he gets the money to do things like this, but he's been buying a bunch of new things since he got promoted. Isn't he a cutie?

I drive to the school with Maddy's Dora CD playing the whole way. We get to the school with 5 minutes to spare, and I rush her into the back room before I scoot into the auditorium. The curtains slide open and the lights dim a few minutes after I take my seat, and the show begins.
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"You did so good, Mads!" Shawn places a kiss on Madeline's cheek, who's sitting on Shawn's hip as we walk to the car.

"Tanks daddy!" Maddy smiles as Shawn continues to tell her that we'd be getting ice cream later to celebrate. I laugh and hop back into the car. A smile stays on my face the whole ride. Since when did my life get so good?

Opening the door, our dog comes rushing to greet us with a waving tail and loud barks.

"Lilly, calm down," I say annoyed. Our golden retriever sits down and whines, looking at me with those big puppy eyes. "Ugh okay, okay," I bend down to pet her and she jumps at my chest, knocking me over with a bunch of wet kisses. I laugh and roll over to my knees. Life has been nothing but good.

"Change into your Christmas dress and lets go, nana and papa are waiting for us!" I shout to Maddy down the hall as she squeals from her room. I turn and put Maddy's bag down with the rest of my things and look at Shawn, who's looking right at me.

"Yes?" I ask, cocking my head sideways.

"You're beautiful." Shawn simply shrugs. My mouth spreads into a wide smile and my cheeks flush red.

"You're too sweet," I reply, walking over and locking lips with my hot hubby. He kisses me back, soft and gentle, with his tongue dancing on mine. I giggle like it's the first time we've kissed, and spin around when I hear a distressed "mommy".

"Ew!! No kissy, mommy!" Maddy makes piling sounds and sprints back down the hall with her dress on one shoulder. I roll my eyes and laugh, and Shawn starts to Maddy's room to help her dress. I slip into my bedroom and pull my clothes off. I sigh and look at myself in the mirror. My ribs poke at my skin and my collar bone protrudes. Shawn walks in, while I'm standing in my underwear and sports bra. He whistles and I shake my head.

"What's wrong my love?" He worries, rapping his arms around my waist and putting his head on my shoulder.

"Nothing, just need a little more meat on my bones, if you know what I mean." I laugh, playing off my concern. I've been loosing weight quickly lately, and I haven't changed any of my daily actions.

"Well. I think you're gorgeous, if it counts," Shawn grins and places a kiss on my cheek.

I smile, moved by his sweetness, and I get into my red velvet dress. It cuts off at my knees, with a cute bow where the straps in the back meet, in a V shape. I pull on a black elegant necklace and black pumps. Shawn changes into his suit and we head back out, Maddy following us in her cute green skirt and gold shirt. The three of us decided to meet nana and papa at Siena's for a nice Christmas dinner. I've never been out anywhere too fancy, so I'm excited to eat at an expensive restaurant. It almost feels like I'm in a fairytale, like this new exciting life isn't mine. I'm so used to the raggedy clothes, worn out shoes, and being made fun of. When people say that starting over really can help one take a hold of their own life, they're right. I've never been happier.
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Journal, December 25th
Today we went out to eat at Sienna. The restaurant was my mom's favorite when her and my dad were together. That was before he ditched us and left us broke of everything we had. My mom was one extremely strong woman, and I'm glad I experienced her favorite meal on her favorite holiday. Yea, what a surprise, right? How could a stubborn and independent woman like my mom go? Cancer. The evil word haunts me each day, but I won't, and don't, let it hold me back. Shawn and Maddy are my light, my happiness. The two have changed my life from rags to riches, literally. I work at the local school, teaching art. I always had a heart for younger children, as well as a passion for art, so the job was really a match made in heaven. Shawn's singing career really took off; he's selling records and having gigs all over town. He's such a cutie. Well, journal, this is my last entry. I don't need to write about my troubles and worries to get them off my mind anymore, because I don't have any. Life used to hit me hard, believe me, but I took it by the neck and turned it around. And you can do the same, believe in YOU. YOU are one of a kind, no one is like you, so go out there and own your life. Take a hold of it and live it like you want to. Don't be sad, you don't have enough time to waste being upset. Smile, you're beautiful and so is life, so don't take it for granted. For whoever finds this journal, I wish you learn a thing or two from me, and take a moment to look at the sun, to smell the roses, to listen to the singing birds. Life is beautiful, make the most of it.
Xoxo, Nicole Summers.