Unloved But Unforgotten

Chapter 1

- Lillian's POV -

i heard him screaming but i didn't listen to what he was saying.

i was so stupid for what i did, how could i be so stupid!?

i stood there, him yelling in my face, i kept my eyes locked on his eyes to make it seem as if i were listening.

it got quiet and i didnt come back to reality until i felt a very familiar stinging sensation on my cheek.

dont cry. i told myself but i broke down in tears after two seconds.

he grabbed my jaw with one hand, his grip tight.

i clenched my jaw and squeezed my eyes shut as held my face.

"What are you crying for!?" he yelled into my face.

i tried to shake my head but he pushed me back and i fell to the floor.

anger shot through me but i wouldnt dare do anything. not here, not now.

he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

i laid back completely and cried as i clutched the soft carpet on my floor. i cried until i couldnt cry anymore.

it was night. late, very late at night, so I stood up finally and presumed to take a shower after picking out my outfit for school tomorrow.

I showered and put on my pajamas. I looked into the mirror and could already see a bruise forming under my eye.

I brushed my hair before blow drying it. I flat ironed it so I wouldn't have to flat iron it in the morning. I would only have to touch it up.

I brushed my teeth and then, out of nowhere, all the bad voices flooded my mind.

fat. ugly. you cant do anything right. you cant even get in trouble right.

I finished brushing my teeth, trying to ignore the voices but they just came harder.

you are so worthless. pathetic. stupid. fat. ugly. weird. no wonder you don't have friends.

"Shut up." I whispered aloud, gritting my teeth.

they kept coming, harder and harder until I broke.

I grabbed a razor blade that I taped under the edge of my sink and slowly started to cut my wrists.

I hadn't done it in a while but I never felt better about it.

ha! I knew you couldn't do it. pathetic. you cant even go a whole month without cutting yourself. maybe you DO deserve it! worthless. hopeless! just kill yourself, the whole world would be better off.

I kept cutting until I felt lightheaded and too weak to go on anymore.

I grabbed a black towel and cleaned it up. I retaped the razor underneath the sink and added a hoodie to my outfit for school tomorrow.

I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.

* The Next Morning *

I woke up to my alarm clock blaring. I shut it off quick, careful to not wake my father. I got up and got dressed. I touched up my hair and brushed my teeth. I put on my shoes and threw on my hoodie. I didn't bother with make up even though I now had a very visible bruise.

it was my first day of school and I didn't plan to look up at anyone's face anyways.

I went outside and got on the bus, sitting by myself as usual.