How To Be The Best Third Wheel

Original Edition - Tip 3: Just Evacuate

"Lara!" he calls out, thowing his bag over his shoulder as he approaches me. As he does so, he unintentionally flexes his biceps, causing a chain reaction of drooling girls.

Oh please, he isn't even that handsome. Just because his dark brown hair is styled up, his thin shirt shows off his muscular physique and he's Mr. Heartthrob, does not mean that he looks good. I mean, young Leonardo DiCaprio in The Titanic was so much cuter! I could name endless book characters whom I would categorize as much hotter than James. For example, Gale from the Hunger Games, Tobias/Four from Divergent, Maxon from The Selection, Prince Kai from Cinder, Prince Cal from Red Quee-

The slam of hands on my desk bring me back to earth. Why can't I just stay in my book character paradise forever? I glare at a smirking James.

"Are you stalking me? This is basically harrassment! I could sue you for this! Why are you even here?" I demand, frustrated at the imbecile standing in front of me.

"I am in this class, De la Cruz."

Why does he keep calling me by my last name? This is getting extremely annoying. And hold the phone! What the fishballs? He doesn't even have math this semester! I caught a glimpse of his schedule in second period!

"Haha, so funny." I remark, my face like stone. "You don't have math this semester!"

"I didn't have math this semester." he states.

"Exactly! So get out!" I shout, not really caring that teacher is five feet away from us and that my classmates probably think that I am a lunatic.

"Ah, I thought you were good at english? I said that I didn't have math this semester. Let me enlighten you with how exactly the past tense works."

I think I might actually consider a life in prison if that means I can murder him. I pity his future hockey wife. (If he's even able to get one!) He should come with instructions so that the people who come in contact with him will not malfunction at the sight of his ego at an instant.

I grit my teeth, wanting to smack him and his smart-*** mouth. "Stop acting like you know everything! Who are you, Google?"

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. My Phys. Ed. teacher said that breathing exercises would help in calming a person's heart rate. Clearly, it's not helping!

"No. This cannot be happening." I mumble to myself, making myself look even crazier than I already seem. "You are calm, stay calm, this is not actually happening..."

"Lara, darling, are you okay?" Ms. K asks with concern.

I face her and nod. I try my best not to explode in anger and fury. She pulls out a piece of paper and starts examining it. A crossed look emerges on her face.

"James is it?" she questions him. "Hon, I'm afraid I don't see you on my class list."

At those words, the tension in my brain releases and I breath out. Yes! Yes! Yes! Phew. Thank God! Thank the Lord Almighty! I really can't handle another 75 minutes with this demon! One class is more than enough.

"That might be because I just switched my classes a few minutes ago." James explains and my hope sinks to the pits of my stomach. All hope is lost! No!

I feel as if everything inside my body goes numb. At this point, I might as well faint. Is this a nightmare? Please, someone tell me that it is a nightmare.

I turn to Ms. K and plead, "Can I transfer classes?"

She looks at me with despair and sighs. "I'm afraid that it's too late for that, darling. Besides, James looks like such a nice boy."