Chapter Twenty-Three

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I blink at the feel of lips against my cheek. My eyes encounter a dark room, making me realize it's still early morning.

Matteo caresses my face gently. "I've got to go," he whispers.

I open my eyes then, finding him seated at the edge of the bed, dressed in a crisp blue suit. I smile, tiredly. "You look great. What time is it?"

"Four. I have to catch my flight."

I nod, rubbing my side. There's an uncomfortable feeling there. It's a strange pain. "I can make you breakfast before you go-"

He shakes his head. "It's alright. Go back to bed. I just wanted to let you know before I left."

"It's going to feel weird to spend a night without you."

"Oh, come on. You're not dying for a night without me?"

I glare, running a hand over my hair. "True. Gives me a chance to call my boyfriend and tell him to come over."

He purses his lips, hardly amused. "Funny."

I grin. "Of course I'm going to miss you."

He leans forward, kissing my lips softly. "Me too." He stands then, walking to scoop up his keys. "I'll text you when I land."

I nod, crossing my arms over my knees, watching him fondly. Turning at the door, he smirks. "Don't have too much fun while I'm gone."

I smirk. "I'll make sure he's out before you get back."

He purses his lips, in a surprisingly good mood. "Okay, I think I'm done with that joke. You're just making me nervous."

I laugh. "I love you."

He nods, kissing the air. "Bye, baby."

***

"Yes, I'm calling for Rory. He just left a call?" I ask, leaning against the sink, grimacing at the cramps that have seemed to escalate since I woke this morning.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. He has already left for the day. I could transfer you to his cell phone?"

I shake my head. "No, no. I'll call him back tomorrow. Thank you."

I don't even wait for her to answer. I hang up and walk to the bathroom, leaving Charles in his bouncy chair. I walk into the bathroom and sit down on the toilet, pulling down my underwear. I look down, seeing spots of blood on the material.

Having always had irregular periods, I shake off the unease, figuring the cramps must be from how long I've gone without one. Counting in my head, I realize it's been almost three months since my last menstruation. I remove the underwear, placing it into the sink.

Standing up, I brace myself against the counter, digging my hand into my side.

Despite the easy answer to this pain, as I stare into mirror, seeing my own wide eyes, a cold shiver of suspicion runs through my back. Fear.

***

A few hours later, nearing dinner time, I'm sure something's wrong. I can't lift Charles anymore. My body feels like it's twisting from the inside, tightening. I set him down onto the floor, pressing a hand to my pelvic area.

"Fuck," I gasp nervously. I don't cramp like this. My period is usually not this bad. I grab my phone, searching through Google for an answer to the symptoms.

Turns out, the internet is a terrifying place.

What if it's a tumor? What if my kidneys are failing? My liver? Oh god.

There's many pages about easing period pains, nothing that truly stands out until I cross a page with a title that reads When to Know You're Miscarrying. Blinking, I press on the link with shaking fingers.

I scroll through the blog, reading as fast as I can the women's experiences before I shake my head, slamming my phone down.

But I'm not pregnant!

All these women already knew they were!

I would know if I were pregnant!

Charles begins to walk clumsily towards the living room and I shake my head, walking towards him. "Baby, no. Come here."

I bend down to grab him and let out a sound, knowing instantly that I'm not okay. None of this is okay. I need to call someone.

Breathing deeply, I walk over to the phone. I scroll past Matteo's name, cursing him for leaving me. I dial Veronica's number.

"Hey," she says, answering warmly.

"Hi," I whisper, clearing my throat. "Something is... not right. I don't feel okay."

"Like what? A headache?"

I shake my head, silent. God, it hurts to even open my mouth. I'm scared.

"Emma?"

"It hurts, V. Fuck."

"Okay, you're scaring me. What hurts? Emma, where is Matteo?"

"Conference. Two days."

"Where are you hurting?"

I bite my trembling lips. "I don't know... I think I might be... no, it can't be!"

"Can't be what?"

"I might be miscarrying."

"You're fucking pregnant!?"

"I don't know! I don't know! I researched and I don't know. I'm bleeding."

"I'm coming over right now. Take Tylenol and call Matteo."

"He's still on the plane," I groan. "He said he'd text me when he landed."

"Call him anyway. I'm walking out of my apartment right now. Do I need to call an ambulance?"

I shake my head. "No, no. Just come over."

She hangs up and I look down, pressing on Matteo's name on my speed dial. It goes to voicemail, ask I expected it to.

***

Veronica walks in and I look up from my crouched position. She slams the door shut and hurries toward me, bending down. "You're pale."

I nod, closing my eyes. She feels my forehead and shakes her head. "You have a fever. Did you take the Tylenol?"

I nod, pointing at Charles. "Just make sure he's okay. He's scared."

She walks over to him and I hear her talking calmly. I look over and he's holding a toy, staring my way strangely. I bite my lip, trying to stand. It hurts when I do. She lifts him up and places him into his play pen. He immediately begins to wail but she leaves him anyway, running towards me.

"We need to get you into the bath."

"No, no. I don't-"

"You need to."

"I'm bleeding, Veronica. I can't," I snap, closing my eyes. Tears of fear build in my eyes as I clutch the railing of the chair, trying to drown out Charles cries. They're only making my heart beat faster.

"I don't know what to do," Veronica says, scared. I shake my head.

"Me either."

"Have you called Matteo?"

I nod, trying to breathe. "He hasn't answered. He should be off the plane by now."

There's a twisting in my lower half, so painful that I let out a cry, keeling over as red begins to run down my legs. Veronica runs for the phone. "I'm getting an ambulance."

"No!" I shout but she dials anyway.

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