Exposed

Chapter Twenty

Side by side, we fight for breath, naked, sprawled on a messy bed of sheets and pillows. The room smells of roses, Chinese food and sex. It's not entirely uninviting. It's past midnight by now and my limbs are feeling the toll we've exerted onto each other.

We couldn't stop ourselves, couldn't get a breath in.

Since entering the room, this is the longest we've gone without being within one another. I push my sweaty hair back on my forehead, blinking back into reality.

"Fuck."

I sense him nod beside me and he eventually chuckles, "Yeah."

"That was intense."

I turn onto my side, pressing my lips to his large chest, wrapping my hand around the impressive presence between his legs. He's still semi-hard.

He exhales, a shiver coursing through him. "It's been a long time since you've touched me like this."

I stop touching him, hovering above his skin. I think back to the orgasm I faked, knowing it as the last time we slept together. "I never stopped wanting you. It wasn't that."

He nods against my hair. "I know."

My fingers, needing to touch him, spread out over his abdomen. "Did you really cancel the tour?"

"Yes."

"What did Doug say about that?"

"I hung up before I got the real jest of it."

"I see."

"I think we should go away, Em. Get away for a bit with Charles... we never did have a honeymoon."

I won't deny a getaway sounds more than intriguing, exactly what we need. "What about your shows now? You don't want to burn your bridges, Matteo."

He pulls me close, grasping my hip. "Let me handle them."

"Okay."

We sit in silence a few moments, letting our heartbeats soften.

"Em."

"Hm?"

"My distance from Charles isn't because I don't care for him... it isn't because I don't want him."

"I know."

"He's innocent in this. I just... I feel no pity or regret for her death. It's terrible to say, but I just haven't been able to bring myself to this frequency you are on. My aunt wasn't a good person. I gave her plenty chances to change, but she was relentless."

I stare at him, waiting for more, hoping for more. He eventually gives it to me.

"She called me, when she heard about me one day on the radio. I had just gotten back from Paris. I had only been under Doug's direction for a year but somehow, we had sold out shows.

"I was surprised to hear from her. I held a lot of resentment from the events that I found out about when I lived with her, the donations and all. But, I figured she was reaching out to apologize... She came to one of my shows, bullshitted me the entire night about reconnecting and that she had felt horrible for what she did and the fact that I left without any help. Then she gave me an excuse about how her man had left her with tons of debt and that collectors were all up her ass. She said she was in debt ten-grand. Now, at this time, I was making good money, but not anything close to what I make now, so ten-thousand was a lot to give her."

"You did it?"

He nods.

"That's why when she went to your apartment, you asked if she was back for more?"

"Yes, but I wasn't stupid either. I wanted to make sure that she was being genuine, so I showed up to her house, sat outside all night. And guess what?" He chuckles. "I saw the boyfriend coming home with a brand new flat screen television."

I close my eyes, grimacing. "Shit."

"It's in the past, I know that. When she showed up, saying that she wanted me to connect with Charles, I thought it was ploy for more. That's why I lost it like that, threw her out."

"I get it."

He exhales. "I don't think of her ever, Emma. I am ashamed to tell you that, since she died the way she did..."

"She hurt you, Matteo. She caused a lot of the suffering in your life. It's understandable, your resentment."

He kisses my hair, inhaling. "I want to let Charles in. I want to figure out how to be a good guardian to him."

"I think your first job needs to be admittance then. You aren't going to be his guardian, Matteo. You will be daddy to him. We are his parents."

It's a scary thing to admit. I've come to terms with the fact. He still has yet to.

I think it would be a glorious thing to see him try.

"I'll do better, baby. I promise."