Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor)

7.4 Dying For A Cause

I was never a fan of hunting parties, yet this one time I took my friends – I considered them friends at this point – along with me, it was different. I was the leader. Okay, I wasn't leading the party as I was being used as bait, but at least I got dibs on first sip.

The stoners searched the northern part of the suspected area to cover more ground. James sent Ramsay to scout out for the local cell, or someone affiliated with them. He suggested that I could use Draven to help out, but his all too eagerness would probably blow our cover. There was the chance that it could go right, but my hardheadedness on keeping him as far away as possible impeded my thinking.

"It's simple, Lena. Ye just hae to exert power over Draven and he'll bend to yer will easily," James explained. "Ramsay here does exactly what I tell him to do, even if it goes against sheep morals."

"Do sheep morals include chewing on your shirt?"

James looked down and Ramsay was gnawing on the bottom of his shirt. He, armed with a dustpan, hit the ram on the head. "Do I nae feed ye enough?"

Ramsay baaed and trotted away.

"So, we're aware of how the plan works, right?" James asked us right before we took action.

Carmen raised her hand and answered. "Max and Lena have a fake-out. When it comes to the point when Lena's gonna drain him, that should be enough to draw the attention of these VETHA people. The crazy ones. Then, you use the paralysis spell you scribbled on this old prescription sheet to stop them from escaping. Seriously, your handwriting is no different from a doctor's."

"We'll just hope you don't hae to use it. Now did ye take yer anti-anticoagulants?"

"Yes," Carmen replied with an annoyed tone.

"No," Max whimpered.

James pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "I told ye to take it in case Lena goes too far. Vampire saliva–"

"Contains an anticoagulant in which I'll bleed out and die if I get nicked. You're not the only one who knows vampires." He sighed. "It's weird, I can withstand the smell of the shop, yet I can't tolerate that concoction you gave Carmen and me. Also, one lick of the stuff and I get sick to my stomach. And I haven't eaten anything yet. I always eat something before I take any drugs, unless it requires an empty stomach, and it's way past my eating hours–"

"Fine, I'll do the fake-out!" Carmen slapped the piece of paper on Max. Once he took it, she led the way into the alley. After finding a spot wide enough, she leaned against the wall. "To be honest, I've never made out with a woman. I volunteered because he won't shut up about his routine once he's started."

"And to be honest, I'm not the greatest at seducing women."

"Hey, you don't need to seduce me. Just kiss me and grab my bumper."

The way I usually do these things, seducing humans, is by hypnotizing them. It made situations like this less awkward. Initially, the fake-out without hypnotizing Carmen was harder than I thought. It was more than kissing and grabbing her ass. I had to be in the moment and I couldn't get into it. And this wasn't planned with her. Then I remembered what the fake-out was supposed to do. So I planted one on her lips and did my best not to make eye contact. I caught her by surprise on that one, but she improvised much better than I did. While I kept my hands on the wall for balance, she grabbed my ass and pulled me closer.

"Not so rough, would you?" I whispered.

"You kiss really hard so I assumed," she whispered back. Her eyes moved to my left. "You better get to the feeding part quickly, or else they'll take us for a couple making out."