For The Love of Robin

Disordered: Part 1

October 23rd 5:p.m.

      No one said anything. And honestly it was quite unnerving the way we all just loitered in the kitchen quietly. Megan was just repeatedly stirring cookie batter, Wally just rested his head on the counter. Artemis leaned against the couch with her head down, Superboy just starred at the off TV. Robin and I on the other hand were on opposite sides of the same, green couch. We hadn't talked to each other at all- and the worst part was that Batman found out about my confession. He wasn't mad though, he said that I truly thought I was about to die and he didn't want me to die with regrets.

      I heard the zeta-beam go off, signaling Batman's arrival. I didn't even pick my head up. Black Canary was supposed to come in later today to talk to us; everyone would be alone, except me. I had three sessions: one on my own, one with Robin, and one with Artemis. I heard mumbling from where Bats was talking to Manhunter.
"Connor. Can we talk?" Black Canary peaked into the living room and asked for Superboy in a soft coo. He merely grunted and brushed off her presence.
"Please, Connor. I want to help."
"I don't need it."
"Then this should be quick." Black Canary reasoned. Connor stood up angrily and followed her to a private room.

      ~Time Skip~

      "Blue Jay?" Black Canary called, I was going last.
"I'm fine." I snapped. She seemed rather taken aback, as did everyone else. I was probably the last person they expected to refuse Canary. She walked over to my spot on the couch and rested a hand on my shoulder. I brushed it off and stood up to follow her.

         We finally sat down in two big chairs that were across from each other. She sat with one leg on top of the other and leaned back with both arms on an arm rest.
"Blue Ja-"
"I'm fine." I snapped again.
"You just watched your friends get killed. And you got rejected-"
"Gee, thanks."
"By the boy you like after telling him you liked him- you probably aren't used to rejection." She continued without acknowledging my interruption.

         I looked at her with narrowed eyes.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. Just that you usually get what you want and you're a pretty, smart, and talented young lady; getting a guy shouldn't be that hard for you." I looked at her with disgust. Did she even know me?
"I'd rather my parents be alive than get everything I want, or be pretty. But that's not what happens. Besides, I don't need this. I'm fine, really." I reasoned with my best effort to stay calm.

      "It's okay to not be fine." Her words were so calm and soothing, but it didn't help me. I stood up with a red face and tears began to form.
"No! It's NOT okay!!! If you're fighting and you get knocked down it's not okay to stay on the floor because you aren't fine! You HAVE to get up!!!! You HAVE to at least pretend to be fine!!" 

     "Blue Jay. Please." Canary pleaded with wide eyes. I huffed and fell onto the chair with my arms crossed in front of my chest.
"I get it."
"No you don't. No one knows everything I've been through." I sighed.
"I know, Dolly. But please, what's really bothering you about all of this?" I opened my mouth, then closed it again- unsure how to put my feelings into words. I rubbed my arm awkwardly and looked at the ground awkwardly.
"I-it's just that wherever I go... The family around me s-seems to die. And first I watched my parents die, then I came home to find another set had been murdered and ripped open. I just don't know what I would do if something like this happens to my current family." Black Canary stood from her seat and kneeled down before me, caressing the sides of my head.

       She pulled me into a hug against her shoulder, stroking my hair as I cried onto her shoulder.
"I'm going to call in Artemis." She whispered as she let go of me and stood up. She left, coming back moments later with Artemis at her heels. I pulled off my sunglasses and tossed them onto the table. Artemis ran over to me and enveloped me into a hug.
"It'll be okay." She promised. Canary gave us a small smile then motioned for us to sit across from each other in the cushioned chairs. I wiped my eyes and obeyed.

       "So, Blue Jay. How did you feel when Artemis saved you and ended up dying because of it?" Canary asked. I felt a lump form in my throat.
"I-I was upset, not because she died saving me, though- don't get me wrong; it was devastating. But what really hurt was that I could've saved you instead, but you ended up being the hero, and I still managed to die in the end. So it was kinda in vain." I looked at down at my black, high heeled boots, feeling guilty about my feelings.

      "But, Dolls, it wasn't in vain if it meant you got even another minute to live. And as for the hero part- that wasn't me being heroic, that was me being your big sister." Artemis explained slowly. I looked up at her with a grateful smile and she returned it.
"I love you." I said with a goofy smile.
"I love you, too." She began to tear up, "Please, promise me you'll never leave me; don't be like Jade." I looked at her with wide eyes before nodding vigorously.
"Only if you promise to never die again."

      At the time, we agreed without hesitation, but little did we know that  a long way down the road​we would           both break our promises.
    
      "Now, Artemis, if you'll excuse us, Blue Jay has to have a heart-to-heart with her partner." Canary cut in. I groaned loudly and fell back into my chair- Why me?

     A/N: Thank you guys so much for all the reads, I would even continue this story if only one person was reading it, but all the reads make it more fun. You guys are the reason. I stay up late making sure this story isn't total crap. I'm only going to do a few more episodes (which is a good amount of chapters), then end it along with season 1. I will have another book, unless some want me to continue it in this one, but I would prefer to make a new book to keep it more organized. Comments are greatly appreciated. XOXO😘😘😘