She's a Rebel [Star Wars | Luke Skywalker] *EDITING*

The Community Of Hope

I watch as Luke slowly wakes up, his hands grasping at the empty covers, and then he sits up and looks around, stumbling out of bed, confused and scared, as he realises I'm not there. 

"Natalie!" I hear him shout desperately as he runs out of our shared quarters into the corridor, only to come face to face with Leia, who's looking at him despondently, and he grips her arms immediately. "Where has she gone, Leia?"

She's struggling to hide the truth, her wavering lips giving it away, and she shakes her head. His hands drop from her arms and he stands back. He looks as if he's been shot, as if he's been told I'm dead, and I watch as he collapses onto Leia's petite frame, crying out for me desperately, gripping her clothes and begging for me to come back to him, for me to be safe, and if not that then at least alive. 

I open my eyes and sit up. I look down and find Zach asleep on the floor in the small, foot-wide space between Dex and I's bunks, and I glance over to his bunk to find Tom draped over him on top of the duvet, and I can't help but smile. Slowly, I push myself up and sit back against the wall, leaning my head back and staring up at the grey ceiling. 

The only thing in my head is the image of Luke crying for me, and I bring my hands to my face and rub my eyes, letting out a loud and deep sigh. 

"You okay?" 

I drop my hands from my face and look over to Dex's bunk, and I find him frowning at me from beneath Tom's body, and I shrug my shoulders. He purses his lips and pushes his way out of the bunk, Tom snorting and rolling over to the now empty space. 

"Great," he sighs angrily at Zach, trying to avoid stepping on him as he makes his way over to my bunk and sinks down into the hard mattress. 

"When did they get in?" I ask quietly, and he shrugs, pulling his legs up onto my bunk. 

"No idea. I just remember waking up to find them clawing at the door a while ago. And, well, here we are," he says, shrugging again and smiling at his boyfriend, and I smile too. "What's going on, Nat?" he asks after a moment, and I sigh again. 

"Luke," I whisper, glancing down at Zach as I do so. 

"Oh? What about him? Boyfriend drama? Because lemme tell ya, I know a lot about that."

I smile lightly at his remark. "No, nothing like that..."

"Did he do something to you?" Dex asks, sounding suddenly aggressive and defensive, and I turn to him, frowning. 

"No!" I hiss angrily, and he holds up his hands. "What the hell, Dex?!"

"Alright! Alright! I can't know if you don't tell me, Nat."

"Yeah, I know..." I shake my head, mostly at myself. "Sorry."

"So, what's going on?" he persists. 

I sigh heavily, yet again, wondering if what I'm about to say is a good idea. "It's just... I can't help but I think I've ruined the poor kid's life," I murmur despondently. "His aunt and uncle were killed because of me, I left him after he lost his closest friend, you know, the Battle of Yavin, he found out his true parentage in the most scarring way because of me, and now I've left him again. It's ridiculous, Dex."

Dex doesn't say a word back to me. Instead he shuffles up the bunk, squeezes himself up next to me and hugs me to him. 

"I really don't get how he can love me after all that," I continue in a whisper, shaking my head as Dex strokes my hair. "The amount of times I've abandoned him on account of some reckless mission I don't even have to be there for. How I promise him one thing and do another. I could live a thousand lives and never deserve him and how he treats me."